**Shamelessly puts up a giant billboard on the top of the bar, advertising his webstory, and inviting all bar patrons to join- (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum8/HTML/004199.html")here(/url)
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"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
U.E. Admiral returns with the A.S.S. Vermont (azdara) blasting away the one keying the ships and lands out in the parking lot. the battle weary U.E. Admiral stumbles into the bar still drunk from the prev. visit and goes the to dark isolated corner and orders another brandy. 
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<commercial break>
We gave the 'Saalian Brandy Challenge' to 45,207 U.E. Navy personnel.
Would they be able to tell the difference between 'brandX' (a leading competitor) and 'brandY', the mellow smooth taste of Saalia's finest blend.
In trials, 32,906 people were able to identify their favourite drink.
12,301 people missed the obvious clue.
Conclusion 1: we need smarter people in the Navy.
Conclusion 2: in many cases, we can get away with selling paint stripper.
</commercial break>
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(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)
As the drinking straw of time slurps noisily at the bottom of the empty cocktail glass of destiny, and the ornamental umbrella of fate pokes me in the eye as I try to extract the pineapple chunks... the time has come to say goodbye.
Time has defeated me, when a whole fleet of UE Kerb-crawlers could not. Christmas is upon us, and I must leave. I have to harness ten genetically enhanced flying reindeer to the front of a Voinian Interceptor, put on red clothes and white whiskers, and fly through the night skies of Earth, dropping grenades down the chimneys of houses wherein may be found children, who have 'been good' all year.
It's for your own good, you know.
I would like to see the Steel Bar still open for business when I return. It's so much better than the other recent bars have been! Remember, when all else fails, simply shoot somebody with an utrasonic bladder relaxer gun, blame it on the bacteria, and order a round of drinks... you know I would.
Barkeep... I'll have a Void-it-yourself Vodka, in a take-away flask, please!
(Settles his bar tab, haggling for just long enough to be polite.)
<The Voinian Ambassador has now left the building.>
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Void-it-yourself Vodka
3 parts Smyrovritsch vodka
2 parts of a diesel generator
1 part Gatorade
1 part Saalian brandX
1 cherry - preferably lost
2 tbsps chilled frogspawn - toadspawn will do if no frogspawn is available
Pineapple chunks to taste
(Well what were you going to do with them? Build a little igloo?)
Serve with a brown paper bag. You're gonna need it.
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(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)
(Thinks to himself: "Why the hell not")
Lands Azdara on top of the psychoward ship and walks inside. "I'll have a shot of Ol' Janx Spirit and a glass of chinanto/mnigs".
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Man creates plans
God laughs
Hands the Voinian his Void-it Vodka, and wishes him well, noting that an earth sleigh would last longer in space combat than a Voinian Intercepter ever could...
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"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
Au Revoir VonianAmbassador (even though you won't read this until you come back). Happy holidays and hopefully you will miss my chimney.
The bacteria, mattress and 150 lunatics all wish you a merry Christmas too (even the guy in the parking lot keying things).
Hey, I tried to make it interesting
I hope you had fun and await your return (always more anatomy to discuss :D)
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And So Shrout1 Finally Arrived
And Then There Was Excessive Cheating
Quote
Originally posted by Shrout1:
(even the guy in the parking lot keying things).
(/B)
I blasted him away (if you haven't read).
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Sixteen Omega Force battleships(ie: REALLY MASSIVE SHIPS)come to the Steel Bar, and using their Quantum Pulse Turret batteries, level the bar, the street, and the surrounding city, including everything for ten miles outside the city limits. Although all the visitors to the bar are still alive, they are all severly mangled from the bombardment(hey, you can't kill them, so mangling'll work). Cap'n Redeye then comes down, eliminates the bacteria, and throws all the inmates into the black hole cluster where Freakboy and Overrider are.
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"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
-Arthur Kane
Steel Bar is quickly rebuilt, and a the whole bar lifts up, showing a "REALLY MASSIVE" Missile launcher, full of smuggled Adzgari shockwave missiles.
The Giant missiles (.5 km long..) Speed towards Redeye's ships, blasting them apart easily, sending Redeye's unconscious body into the vacuum of space. His eyes explode, the cappilaries in his ears and nose burst, and his skin ruptures in several places. A Shockwave missile hits him in the chest, blowing his body into pieces, and his scorched brain, still alive, lands on the bartending bar, where it is quickly dropped into some 300 proof alcohol to keep it sterile. A Pump is atached to keep oxygen in there to keep him alive.
(Imagine what alcohol would feel like!)
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"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
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"....This is only what I think. We can't in a million years guess what goes on in the snarling, churning bowels of Red's head."
~ESPilot
Shrout1 goes to his Crescent Warship and gets his regenerator out again. He brings the bar back and the Bacteria. Then he regenerates the regenerator enough times to give one to everyone. "Now you can all fix things," he says. Then he takes his ship to the black hole, activates a huge antigrav field and retrieves FreakBoy & OV. He drops them back in Ichijouji Mansion (where all the "FreakBoy" types are.)
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And So Shrout1 Finally Arrived
And Then There Was Excessive Cheating
(This message has been edited by Shrout1 (edited 12-25-2001).)
Shrout1 wishes everyone a merry Christmas and reminds them that even though VonianAmbassador is gone, the bar is not dead. Remember, he wants to see it still going when he gets back.
(Finishes pep-talk and orders a Saalian brandy for all. Someone lays down on the mattress)
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And So Shrout1 Finally Arrived
And Then There Was Excessive Cheating
Who's VonianAmbassador? 
I'll take that brandy thanks!
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"God made people because that dinosaur game sucked" - Xbox
(url="http://"http://members.home.net/e-gamerguy1/ev/bfs3/")BFSIII Website(/url)
(url="http://"http://homepage.mac.com/rebel_council/PhotoAlbum2.html") My Photo among other things Album(/url)
(url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/cgi-bin/ubb/Ultimate.cgi?action=email&ToWhom;=rebel+council")E-mail me!(/url)
I knew someone was hiding in the bar. It wasn't empty the whole time. So where did all the patrons go? The lunatics are getting bored. Hey, there aren't even any monkies for them. Was everyone abducted by the Igadzra or something?
You know, I think this place needs a shipment of monkies. Who can provide me with a freighter full of monkies?
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And So Shrout1 Finally Arrived
And Then There Was Excessive Cheating
I dont know about mokies... maybe Jess will stop by. Hey, it's pretty close.
wait. I have an idea.
Gives the lunatics enough alcohol so that they all think they are monkies
Howzzat?
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"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
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"....This is only what I think. We can't in a million years guess what goes on in the snarling, churning bowels of Red's head."
~ESPilot
Grundys clone teleports in with his nifty computer genius and sets up a teleporter that leads where the real Grundy is. He then asks for a drink that is 99.999999999999% caffine and 0.000000000001% black food coloring mixed with water.
(url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/flat.lasso?id=hOMTtucOINOPLbdCoCU"){}(/url)
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"What is the capital of Nebraska?"
"Uhhh, 42?"
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Come visit (url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/intro.lasso")Nova6s Webboards(/url).
Shrout1 orders one last Saalian Brandy. "Well, I'm headin' out," he says. "Things to see and people to do..... Or is it the other way around? Don't know. Thanks for being my first bar! Adios, Au Revoir, Sionara (however you spell that), Gutentog! See y'all around!"
"Oh yeah, tell VonianAmbassador to come by Bakoom Bar if he drops in, Thanks :)!
<Shrout1 exits bar, lunatics, bacteria & mattress in tow>
Floor rattles as retro-boosters fire in Shrout1's CW. Blast of noise and it is off at light speed.
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And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™
Nrent, being a curious baby dragon, wonders what all the smells are coming from the drinks. Therefore, he knocks down cabinets of drinks and starts lapping up all the spilled drink. Soon Nrent is seeing pink elephants, and the adorable dragon crashes into a table and falls asleep. Rima looks at Nrent and then looks around at the bar. "Anyone know how to get a drunk dragon awake?"
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Of course Women don't work as hard as men....They do it right the first time.
My AIM is RimaTiger
Sorry Rima, cant help ya thar. kick 'em a couple times see if that works. of course ya run the risk of bein' burnt to a crisp.
with that U.E. Admiral zips away in his Azdara swirving violantly in flight.
Haha - Freakboy strikes again! The murder of Ichijouji mansion will not keep me down. I will now visit all the dying bars. My presence will indicate imminent doom for the bar which I visit - whether it be a post in the 190's or just the vultures descending to feed off the carcass of a once great bar - I will be there. Oh, by the way - this bar is dead.
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Hey, now it looks like I have a sig!
