Once freed, the blue hole gallops across the galaxy in search of the infamous Bill Gates. Upon arriving in Washington, and devouring a small portion of the state, it walks up to Bills front door.......
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As I travel through the
gates of hell to face the
deamons, I know my knife
is by my side, and that
all hell can't stop me
...only to find he is in Seattle. The Blue Hole then goes there, kills Gates, and sucks Microsoft Corp.
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Justice is lost
Justice is raped
Justice is gone
Pulling your strings
Justice is done
But, do to the fact that the Blue Hole is in reality a Black Hole with an extreamly odd colouration, the Blue Hole sucks the entire west coast into his gravitational field! After recovering from an extreamly bad case of indigestion (after all, he did just suck up Bill Gates. That much evil would give anyone indigestion) Departing from the Earth, which has been thrown of balance from being in the B.H.'s gravity well and having a chunk of it's crust torn off, so it is falling into the Sun, the B.H. enters a temporal vortex, traveling 150 years into the future...
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I like people. They taste like chicken.
(This message has been edited by Servack (edited 05-11-2000).)
The earth finally goes into a stable orbit arround the sun. But because it it closer to the sun then before, it is much hotter. The mysterious Uzbekistani commandos, however, install a world air conditioning system and force everyone to pay tribute to them, or they will cut the A/C off, boiling the world.
In North America, Michigan and its allies defeat the US. Mr. T proclaims himself Grand Imperator of United Michigan. Both him and North Canadian Megalomaniac Supplies look for a way to take over the Uzbekistani Commandos' giant A/C system...
When the Blue Hole arrives in 2150, it finds a world dominated by 2 giant rival governments, United Michigan and FreePorn Industries. It is horrified and decides it must go back into the past and stop these 2 groups from taking power.
Von Cerringbërg, who wasn't really killed by the mysterious Uzbekistani Commandos, wakes up in a Ukrainian Wheat field. He is bent on destorying the Blue Hole once and for all...
(octoberfost's note)Ohh. Now we have 3 different storylines going...(/octoberfost's note)
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"You can make something idiot proof, but someone else can make a better idiot"
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Demogorgon, you fool, I'M in Seattle, Bill Gates lives in Madrona, and Microsoft is in Redmond.
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---<< Ą Secret Chimp ! >>---
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
"HYOOOOOOHHH! You are correct sir!"-Lucky Bob/Ed McMahon
Quote
Originally posted by Secret Chimp:
**Demogorgon, you fool, I'M in Seattle, Bill Gates lives in Madrona, and Microsoft is in Redmond.
**
And WTF do I care you're in Seattle? This was about Bill Gates, not you anyway.
------------------
Justice is lost
Justice is raped
Justice is gone
Pulling your strings
Justice is done
Bill Gates is in Redmond, as I stated above, not Seattle----oh, never mind.
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---<< Ą Secret Chimp ! >>---
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
"HYOOOOOOHHH! You are correct sir!"-Lucky Bob/Ed McMahon
Am I the only one that still thinks this topic is viable? Come on. Someone continue the story. It's getting interesting...
------------------
"You can make something idiot proof, but someone else can make a better idiot"
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The Blue Hole creates a fold in subspace and flings itself back in time by 100 years. When it get's there, Von Cerringbërg, who went back 101 years, get's out a giant prism and attempts to change the Blue Hole back into a normal Balck Hole. However, the Blue Hole spots the prism in time and fires off a super comcentrated string of photons, more than the prism can stand, shattering it. Meanwhile, the Blue Hole plots to stop the two rival companies United Michigan and FreePorn Industries...
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It takes 24 muscles to frown but only 7 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.
(Remember that when someone pisses you of)
Back on Earth, 50 years pass without incident. Mr.T is dead. The super intelligent anthrax (the good strain) is dead. Elvis and his band of Smurfs have retired into the 6th demension. United Michigan now controls almost the entire american continent. It is lead by Grand Imperator Queer Miguel. Both United Michigan and its ally, North Canadian Megalomaniac Surplus, have been unable to steal the world A/C system from the Uzbekistani Commandos. Queer Miguel decides to try one more thing....
Meanwhile, a young pornographer named Jim has a brilliant idea, he will distribute "free" porn, but charge very high shipping, and make money of of that. He names his company FreePorn Industries....
After 2 of his plans to destroy the Blue Hole fail, Von Cerringbërg decides to seek the help of the mysterious Uzbekistani Commandos, which also makes United Michigan mad at him...
------------------
"You can make something idiot proof, but someone else can make a better idiot"
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Von Cerringbërg arrives in front of the headquarters building for the Uzbekistani Commandos, with a surprise in mind...Von Cerringbërg did not take kindly to his failed assassination, and has NO intent on allying with the Uzbekistani Commandos! It's just a ploy so he can exact his revenge. After sealing the fragments of the prism flying at near-light-speed in another fold in space (he likes those almost as much as lightning...they're so useful!), he unseals them in front of the HQ building! The shards rip through the armor-plated walls as if they were tissues! All commandos are promptly shredded.
He glances up and notices the air conditioning units. Though impressed, he leaves the fairly puny earth in search of the Blue Hole. He has seen it's power, witnessed it's intelligence, and decides to put aside his anger and attempt to make a tacically sound decision...he approaches the Blue Hole and proposes an alliance! The Blue Von Cerringbërg Gravatic Entity Axis! The Blue Hole replies...
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With the Uzbekistani Commandos gone, United Michigan takes over the world A/C system. With the entire world paying tribute to him, Grand Imperator Queer Miguel becomes a little crazy and decides to try to do what Mr. T and C. Jaccobs had failed to do a long time ago...
Meanwhile, Jim's FreePorn Industries has become a huge multi-million dollar company. However, durring the filming of a porno movie, a camera strikes Jim in the head, killing him. Control of FreePorn passes to Nash-Burn, Jim's evil half brother. Nash-Burn has his own plans for FreePorn Industries...
The Blue Hole realizes that its purpose in the universe is to stop the ascension of United Michigan and FreePorn Industries in an unassuming way. It deicdes that fighting with Von Cerringbërg would be unintelligent. However the Blue Hole is still furious over Von Cerringbërg's 2 attempts to kill it, and refuses the alliance, signing only a peace treaty instead. It leaves for earth to see what it can do...
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"You can make something idiot proof, but someone else can make a better idiot"
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One day, Empereror Queer Miguel of Michigan looked out his window and saw Mr. T's
super-modified palace outside. Mr. T flew into the state and...
...walked up to Queer Miguel´s office. "It´s been long since we meet last time" he says. "Yes, it is" answers the Mr.T , they just stare at each other for some time.
Then the Emperor says, "I need your help"...
Miguel answers, "I'm building a machine that will suck in all the air in the universe. Then I'm gonna sell air in cans for lots of money. I'll be rich!" "How do I fit in?" asks Mr. T. "Well, I have run out of cans to put air in. I need
you to go to Canada to get some more metal cans. And while your at it, get me a machine that can suck in all the air in the world"...
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#29 on the Periodic Table
Unkown to Miguel, the Mr.T he just encountered was actually the blue hole. It was part of the Blue Hole's plan to stop United Michigan from gaining any more power. However, it had to play along for a while or Miguel would catch on. So...
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"You can make something idiot proof, but someone else can make a better idiot"
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In the meantime, our friend the Goldfish from Pepperidge Farms has been making his own plans
Mentally disturbed by the presence of blue holes and yellow rain, he spends time at a mental hospital. He escapes when the staff of the hospital is killed off by the Vogan poetry, and hollows out the core of the earth. He stores the magma and mush from the core in the metal cans that used to hold the anthrax and has it swallowed up by the blue hole.
In the core the goldfish creates his own spaceship yard, starts producing Azdaras and Igzadras, and lies dormant until
(now it's related to EVO ;))
(P.S. Please turn off signatures in these posts from now on. It makes reading a lot easier.)
(This message has been edited by Zacha K (edited 05-21-2000).)
Nash-Burn, who now completely contols FreePorn Industries, overrides all other TV signals and boardcasts Porn over all TV channels. Von Cerringbërg is at home watching Professinal Minigolf when this happens. He decides to destroy FreePorn Industies and its evil leader...
Meanwhile the Blue Hole tires of working with Queer Miguel and uses it's powers to assasinate him. The United Michigan government falls, and the blue hole accomplishes its goal of preventing United Michigan from gaining any more power. It looks into the future to see how it has changed. It is horrified to see that in the new future the world is contolled by Von Cerringbërg...
While all this is happeneing, the Goldfish sends out its vast space fleet to lay waste to Delta Pavonis IV. Enroute there, the fleet encounters the space squid that has been making fizzies for the past few weeks...
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"You can make something idiot proof, but someone else can make a better idiot"
AIM/AOL-Nador26
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P.S. Before the goldfish met the giant space squid, he had to leave the core, right?
With his fleet's incredible firepower, he blasts a hole in the crust, leaving through the spot formerly occupied by Newfoundland.
The blue hole greives at the loss of Newfoundland and starts shedding blue tears throughout the solar system
(This message has been edited by Zacha K (edited 05-21-2000).)
At that very moment, a particular latin phrase, who happens to be commanding a fleet of peach cobblers, thinks that the bluehole would be a perfectly unwitting subject for his latest invention: the Poole-Rosen one-way tetrahedral relatavistic wormhole stabilizer/generator/smoothie blender. He launches the endpoint module into the bluehole, and then launches and activates the start point gate. Anything that enters the gate is instantly tranported into the bluehole. The gate (which happens to be made of spandex) expands to ~42k light-years in diameter, and using it's spandex engines, accelarates towards the bluehole. The bluehole, along with most of the surrounding star systems, is now inside the bluehole. And despite being super-intelligent, the bluehole isn't able to comprehend an introspective, and vanishes in a puff of detergent and armoires. The sight of the armoires and detergent causes the latin phrase to become nostalgic for his detergent and armoire filled childhood...
