where the <bleep> is the distressed person i have to save?
i have rescued the town from cyclops
i have rescued the monk trapped by blue skin girl
and that is still not good enough........ picky picky picky

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If you are talking about the quest to get your Page title, then you need to first talk
with a woman in Fantrima(she is wandering around the house just northeast of the
apothecary). She will tell you that her son is missing, and she believes he was captured
by goblins to the west. Head to the forest 1 screen west of Fantrima and you should hear
a kid shout for help. Find the bonfire where the goblins are holding the kid, kill the
goblins and talk to the kid. He will thank you and "run home." Go back to Fantrima,
talk to the woman who will thank you. Head south and talk with Septrimus who will
give you the Page title.

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Shoot 'em with everything you've got. If anything still lives, shoot 'em again.