The Tabletop Ultrasnail begins to slowly feed on the new apparent meal.

The Nots sing Rock-a-bye Baby for Cippy.

Eegras stabs DE with a cheese stick and fills the hole with a Gargle Blaster.

duke drifts off into a dream world of peace and prosperity. Then he wakes up, realizing Eegras is televising images into his head. But it's too late. Eegras demands payment for the image broadcast. duke refuses. Eegras shakes his head and proceeds to pull out a universal remote. He presses a button with the picture of a bear on it. As soon as this happens, duke gets attacked by a drop bear. duke had drop bear repellent, and everyone knows that helps a lot.

How the drop bear attacked duke?

DE wakes up to watch himself get eaten by the Tabletop Ultrasnail. Once eaten, DE fires a javelin rocket to get himself out. DE then goes back to sleep on the bar.

A chunk of the Tabletop Ultrasnail goes flying when DE shoots the rocket, landing right in the face of the Citizen Espionage Bureau officer who is walking toward Nil's ship, causing him to drop his concealed gun onto the ground, where it breaks, causing a rather large explosion that knocks the officer unconscious. Nil carefully pilots his ship over the officer and lands on him, squishing him like a bug.

The ship's sensors show a strange asteroid (no, not a coke machine this time ) drifting into the system. There is a massive life reading on it, and Nil's phone starts ringing again. Nil reports the space monster to the ARTIA (Anti Rude Telemarketer Intelligence Agency) and blocks the monster's number on his phone.

This post has been edited by Nil'kimas : 24 September 2007 - 04:58 PM

mrxak gasps as the chunk of Tabletop Ultrasnail grows larger and becomes a new, second Tabletop Ultrasnail. mrxak names it Charlie.

The band plays Cocktails for Two.

duke is picked up by a mysterious force and thrown out the bar window to deflect the approaching asteroid. duke pulls out a nuclear rocket launcher and proceeds to fire at the asteroid. But as soon as he starts firing, the Bureau sends in reinforcements to arrest duke for illegal doomsday weaponry without a permit. It's convenient that the prison is on Evildrome. duke escapes with ease along with the other inmates and hour after imprisonment, purchases a fake doomsday permit, and starts firing at the asteroid again. duke discovers his launcher is out of range and retreats back into the bar to construct a force field to protect the bar from destruction.

Nil takes off the costume he used to pose as a fake shady salesman to sell duke the fake permit, then uses the money to load his ship full of Space Bombs, hoping he won't have to detonate them too close to the planet. While watching duke shoot the asteroid, he wonders how duke got his rocket launcher back after escaping from prison. "Oh well, I got his money anyway," Nil thinks.

The hologram of JacaByte appears in the bar, sticks its tongue out, and disappears again.

The band takes five. As background music during the break, Dr. Trowel puts on "The Void Memorial Corrective Junior High School Marching Band and Anti-Aircraft Artillery Squad Plays the Sex Pistols."

duke finishes his force field and uses the power of 1000 solar panels to start the force field and maintain a steady flow of energy. Meanwhile, duke goes back to his desk to create a doomsday weapon that is original. It is an atomic bomb 2x as powerful as the bomb dropped on Hiroshima and fits into a tylenol capsule. The warning on the side says, "Hilarious if ingested."

DE bumps the bar after a month of abandonment.

A talking cow walks into the bar where it gets killed and ground into hamburgers.

grunk orders a hamburger. However, he converts to Hinduism halfway through the first bite, spits out a chunk of meat, and runs to his ship in agony.

duke runs into grunk on the way to his ship. duke accidently drops the tylenol nuke into grunk's pocket. But duke does not notice and continues to run back to his lab to make another small nuke.

grunk notices the pill as he gets ready to lounge on his shipboard couch, a luxurious piece of furniture made of Tabletop Ultrasnail™ leather. As he has never let caution get in the way of ingestion of pharmaceutical products before, he decides to take it.

He is cured of his pain.

mrxak serves up a hyperturkey.

An orange portal opens over an empty chair in the corner. Corey falls through and lands in a tangled heap on the chair, which crashes to the floor.

He gets up, looks around in confusion.

"...WHAT????"