duke apoligisies to Mackilroy and then throws the nanny in the acid pit, only to dicover she is resistant to acid. Before she pulls a metal spoon of the wall for spanking, duke grabs here and throws her out of the bar onto Apollo 16 million light years away. He then grabs a fusion ball and tosses it to Apollo to make sure the nanny stays there. Apollo disappears in a mushroom could. duke decides to celebrate with a #7 and a #8 and decides to play some pool in the small casino part of the bar which consists of a pool table and billiards. He invites wormgrower over to play some pool. He thanks Wormgrower for everything he's done by ordering him a number 8. Then Mackilroy jumps on duke and starts beating the crap out of him with a pair of bloody knuckles. duke, still holding the moonraker, blows Mackilroys head off and throws his body into the acid pit for insanity. Then, he play some pool with wormgrower.

Wormgrower is glad that the nanny is gone because she would've been angry that Wormgrower missed his nap. Wormgrower enjoys the playing pool in the pool. Even though he is terrible at normal pool, he is even worse at under-water pool.

And some weirdo named zmwworm, far, far away on a planet named Earth in a wonderful state called Montana, got real A&W root beer. He had forgotten what the real stuff tasted like after having so much Western Family and Sam's choice. He also got the lucky mistake of two slices of beef on one of his burgers. That was a good day, considering that he had good computer luck with RAM, even on a PC, and there was another few inches of snow, making it all about a foot. What a good day.

duke is angry that DE and EVWeb can't be friends. So he hires two anger managemement workers to settle there differences. They instantly combust when they hear the tale of what is going on now. duke gets angry and brings his Rebel Crusier crashing through the bar door. He kills every patron in the bar except worgrower since they hace become such good friends. He aims at DE and EVWeb and uses space bombs to blow them to the reformed Apollo. Then duke goes off to capture every system in the universe. He will be back in a couple days.

EVWeb shoots duke_juker with a double barrel shotgun. Then orders a beer and talks to DE about an alliance to wipe out duke_juker.

Wormgrower warns duke of the iminent danger of being at the bar as soon as he returns from boring capturing. duke then calls his good ole friend Admiral Davis for some Marines. Davis gives duke 50 marines. Then, duke grabs a RCP-90 and arms the marines with assault rifles, bayonets, and gernade launchers and starts pumiling EVWeb with gernades, slashes, and bullets. As soon as the fight stops, he throws EVWeb and DE into the acid pit for treason in a bar against a nice patron that has a Rebel Crusier and 50 marines backing him up.

The mountain lion slips into the pool, and enjoying it, he invites a panther, a puma, a tiger, a cheetah, an ocelot, a lion, a lynx, a bobcat, a jaguar, and a catfish in. Wormgrower coughes on a hairball (he likes to drink the pool pool water) and up pops the blue-flaming tissue. Normally it would go out, but in this case it is blue, so it burns up all the water in about 6 seconds. Fur slows the combustion, so the cats have a much slower time combusting. But they don't mind running wildly around the bar and among the patrons. As the level of water drops, so does the catfish, which explodes upon contact with the bottom, letting the remaining water spill out into the hole made by a previous acid happening. It reacts with the ground to burn extremly slowly, making an acid puddle and burning up Wormgrower's pay-laser and lazer, but not before a stray zmwworm gets loose and catches on fire. The little idiot trys to cool off in the snow and ice that froze in the night, but catches it all on blue flame.

duke mourns the loss of so much animal life only to remember PETA will also. But, duke runs outside with the marines to think of how to douse the flames. There is only one answer: Fusion Ball. duke brings the marines back in and tells them to shut the door once the fusion ball gets outside so no one will notice. He grabs and throws a fusion ball outside. The fusion ball instnatly implodes. The marines shut the door. Then,

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

The blast knocks every patron flat on there feet. duke checks on the damage. Everything reformed and the flame destroyed. But, duke sees Wormgrower has a little flame on his nose. Good thing everything reforms. duke bayonets wormgrowers nose and throws it into the acid pit. The flame goes out, but destroys everything in the acid pit. duke proposes a moment of silence for those killed in the tragedy. Then, he orders everyone a #8 to celebrate.

Wormgrower reminds Duke that the animals are still alive, and burning everything. Wormgrower's regenerated nose doesn't fit right, so he grows a new one using regenerated vitamins, minerals, DNA, and raw energy. Finding name of random patron to be angry with him for causing the fire on his pants, Wormgrower orders up another Dragoon (50 Dragoons) for protection. The horses eat nothing but old root beer, and are trained to pee in the acid pit, but occasionally pee in the acid puddle, which causes them to combust. Wormgrower takes a picture of name of random patron, takes another picture of a string of firecrackers with a short, lit fuse, tosses the firecrackers out the door, and Photoshops the pictures together, along with some tape and other such fasteners. He then prints the picture, pins it against the regenerator so that it will think that the picture is real, and lights it on fire. After burning, a second of silence is followed by the regenerator regenerating the firecrackers between the name of random patron's legs and strapping them tightly, along with a lit fuse. Wormgrower orders a #8, but getting a little tired of the flavor, buys everyone a round of #7s.

duke looks at the poor stupid animals. Then, he gets an idea. He makes a special escape pod imune to the blue flame, sticks all the flaming animals in the pod, and shoots them off towards Apollo ansd the reformed nanny. HAHAHA!! She bursts into flames, too. duke then decides to move the bar to another place. New Antigua will work. The bar appears on the moon, but nobady notices. duke then orders everyone the new #9 he concocted on Emerald. But he won't disclose the ingriedients. Then, one million pirates bang on the door of the bar. The marines geer up for action. duke senses the danger to the patrons and orders a #9. duke charges out the dorr with the marines, sort of like 4 guys coming out of Helms Deep. They start fighting. Wormgrower sendes out his army of worms to make sinkholes under the pirates. Bounty hunters land and join the fight. Then the Rebels and Confeds come and it is total war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dash realises he has died and been beaten and shot and killed and maimed and talked to and gotten a #7 (I think).

Dash dies of surprise.

duke revives Merc with a #8 and steroid pills. Then, he continues to defend the patrons from the pirates. He has nothing else to do. So he lets the marines do the work. duke gets a #8.

EVWeb wonders what the crap any patrons would be doing in the Boozy Bar on the biggest pirate base in the galaxy, then has every pirate in the universe attack duke_juker, and duke_juker dies instantly. And doesn't regenerate as he attacked pirates with government troops. All governments then condemn duke_juker, and refuse to aid him in any way.

duke then has no choice. He is revieved by a #8. Then, he has no choice. He calls in the Aliens. The Aliens continue the fighting. duke goes into the bar and knocks EVWeb down. Then, a fist fight follows after. The fists keep flying until one of wormgrowers worms slides up EVWeb's pants and tickles him. He turns out to be ticklish. duke takes the chance to grab a Cougar Magnum and kill EVWeb with one shot. He leaves him on the floor to revive. He walks to the only slot machine in the bar. He inserts 1 credit and gets 2 billion on his first try.

Dash realises that duke had no choice twice.

Dash laughs as a worm slides up EVWeb's trousers. Luckily it's not a snake, or it'd just be one big, bad joke.

Dash huffs, and he puffs, and he freaks out because whatever he just snorted was hallucinogenic.

In his hallucinogenic fury, Dash starts dodging the fists that are flying around, and decides it's about time for some skeet shooting. He whips out his shotgun and starts blasting happily away at the multi-colored, strobing, pulsing fists flying in ever-tightening circles around his head. (The colors are from the huffing and puffing.)

DE recharges and gets a root beer. Then DE makes everyone blow up because he hasn't been here in a little while and forget who are his enemies.

Jimbob farts intelligently.

Mackilroy slaps Jimbob with a wet sock full of lime jello.

Dash acknowledges the intelligence of Jimbob's fart by burping intelligently. While still shooting blown up fists and seeing strobing colors.

Dash is blown up, too, but it would only be logical to let that get in the way of some good hallucinations and some skeet shooting.

duke is reformed by a future device for reviving and finds a weapon good enough to kill Dash with. To his fun and suprise, he finds a lightsaber. He decides to keep it. He uses it on Dash, slicing him into 100 pieces. He then orders a root beer to celebrate his success. He then asks DE if thay can be friends. DE has to think about it. duke waits in a corner for DE's answer.

DE decides he is a friend of anyone who is a friend of root beer, is a friend of DE.

This post has been edited by Destroyer E : 12 January 2005 - 02:27 PM