Thunder made up this topic on the EVO board.. Lets see if we can come up with some good ones here too..

1. You think that Sol is a poorly defended planet and demands tribute, pretty sure you´re Argosy will take the defending ships out.
2. You think the best way of attacking ships is to launch some space bombs while you´re really close to the target.
3. You try to find a place where you can get an asteroid ship as you just realized that the asteroids cant be destroyed.
4. You equip your Argosy with a Neutron Cannon when the Alien Cruiser mission comes up..
5. You blow up the Astex freighters to get friendly with the Confederates..
6. You buy 100 heavy rockets but not the launcher because its too big to fit into your ship..
7. You like to crash into ships..
8. Especially the Alien ones.
9. You talk with a Rebel and tries to convince him that the Confeds are nice guys.
10. Vice versa, with a Confed..
11. And with the Aliens..
(All conversations ended in pain.)

I have to log off.... Im sure you guys have some good ideas...

------------------
"Life is a lesson, you learn it when you´re through"
- Limp Bizkit -

You continuesously talk when you have really nothing to say... :rolleyes:

------------------
"Whoopie! Man, that may have been a small one for Neil, but it's a long one for me."
-Pete Conrad third man on the moon

12. You see a Defender whiz by an Argosy, and disable it as the Argosy was a pirate
already suffering from fire from a Confed Frigate. You then believe that the Defender
is mega strong and avoid it throughout the game.

13. You assume that the Rebel Destroyer is only an Argosy and attack one in your
Shuttlecraft.

14. You spend the Alien missions shooting asteroids wondering when you're going to
get paid.

15. You search for the Aliens in Sol.

16. You spend 400 hours trying to find where you can buy the Alien fighter, then
spend two hours trying to capture it.

17. You capture a Rebel Cruiser, and then, wondering what a Courier is like, you
capture one of those!

18. You think the Confederation are good, decent guys.

19. You "forget" how to enter the shipyard and stay in a shuttlecraft.

20. After gaining no missions whatsoever, you decide to spend your time weaving
around stars, which you think are training lights on the surface, and get really
stressed when a Lightning flies through them and shout "ha! you failed!"

21. You realise you're no good at EV, so instead find the Ambrosia webboards, start
a topic about "Signs you won't last long in EV space", and then list all your
mistakes.

22. Other people continue the topic with their mistakes.

-------------------------

23. A large purple and orange bull appears on the seat of your fighter ship and
informs you that you won't last long in EV space, then proceeds to drink a cup of
coffee on your chair and disappear in a flash of what looks like a red light with
lots of oscellating lobsters.

Well? It's a "sign"!

------------------
Fear not the dragon,
Fear not the wolf,
Fear not the warship,
Fear my Crescent Fighter.

24. You fly a clipper.
25. You think it's good.

------------------
They'll try to kill 'em all with the FORKLIFT!

26. thinking that they are the best at EV
(that might not matter ing the gam but it matters on the board)

------------------
if it dosent doesn't
squiel its not worth
killing

(This message has been edited by rebel council (edited 05-08-2001).)

27. You wonder why all ships aviod Captain Hector

------------------
In three words I can sum up all I've learned about life;it goes on
-Robert Frost
ColdFusion is cool(if you didn't already know that)

28. You're still trying to find out what the Central Objectives are.
29. You wonder how to activate the Secret Cheat Dialog you saw in ResEdit.
30. You try to carry on an intelligent conversation with a Rebel.

------------------
David Arthur
Talon Plugin for Classic EV: (url="http://"http://members.aol.com/darthur1/talon-ev/")http://members.aol.c...thur1/talon-ev/(/url)

Quote

Originally posted by David Arthur:
**28. You're still trying to find out what the Central Objectives are.
29. You wonder how to activate the Secret Cheat Dialog you saw in ResEdit.
30. You try to carry on an intelligent conversation with a Rebel.

**

Curse the evil confed sympathizers, its not to late to leave the dark side

31 You try to kill Hector so you don´t have to pay...

------------------
This is no joke I have wrotten an reply

Quote

Originally posted by alexzander13:
31 You try to kill Hector so you don´t have to pay...

Actually, it is possible to kill Hector, but it isn't much use, since he seems to have the ability to reincarnate at will.

------------------
David Arthur
Talon Plugin for Classic EV: (url="http://"http://members.aol.com/darthur1/talon-ev/")http://members.aol.c...thur1/talon-ev/(/url)

32. You continuously ask for help from Rebels when you're trying to defeat a bounty hunter.
33. You run away from Confed freighters thinking they'll attack and destroy you since you're Rebel.
34. Or vice versa... You attack Confed Cruisers thinking they'll be a pushover...in your SHUTTLECRAFT!

------------------
I don't care what the moderators say, my nickname is swedish chef.

35. You try to join the pirates
36. Did we mention flying a clipper?

------------------
They'll try to kill 'em all with the FORKLIFT!

37. you waste your damn time reading these crappy bulletin board topics instead of actually playing the game.

------------------
HOLY %$#$, I'VE BEEN CENSORED!!

Quote

Originally posted by David Arthur:
**Actually, it is possible to kill Hector, but it isn't much use, since 'he' seems to have the ability to reincarnate at will.

**

Correction: 'she,' as andrew told the entire webboard community (well, a lot of it, anyway).

------------------
YakKa Foob MoG. GRuG
PubbuWuP ZiNk WattooM
GaZoRK. CHuMBLE SpuZz.
(url="http://"http://pub101.ezboard.com/bstarbasedelta")Starbase Delta(/url)

Quote

Originally posted by David Arthur:
**Actually, it is possible to kill Hector, but it isn't much use, since he seems to have the ability to reincarnate at will.

**

Or how about just
destroying his pers resorce with ResEdit.

------------------
They'll try to kill 'em all with the FORKLIFT!

Quote

Originally posted by antihero:
**37) you waste your damn time reading these crappy bulletin board topics instead of actually playing the game.

**

RIGHT ON!!
38. You have played EV so much that you 'obtain' a Bulk Freighter just to fly something different.

------------------

39. Capturing a Gunboat thinking it is good
40. Shooting countless torpedoes at your escourts

------------------
Join Starbase Delta at
(url="http://"http://pub101.ezboard.com/bstarbasedelta")http://pub101.ezboar.../bstarbasedelta(/url)

41. Shooting missiles at ships you don't have targeted. (took me entirely to long to figuire that out)

------------------
War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
Big Brother is watching you.

42: You try to manipulate the keyboard controls with your buttocks.
43: You succeed and therefore can't see the screen.

------------------
"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my Acquaintance in London; that a young healthy Child, well nursed, is, at a Year old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome Food; whether Stewed, Roasted, Baked, or Boiled; and, I make no doubt, that it will equally serve in a Fricasie, or Ragoust."

Jonathan Swift

44. You think that the Bulk Frieghter is a mega ship because of it's immense size and decide to capture one in your Rebel Cruiser.
45. You mistaken an Alien Cruiser for an oddly shaped and oddly colored apple, and decide you can easily beat it in your shuttlecraft.
46. Because the back end of an alien cruiser is the biggest, you think the most weapons are stored there. Then, using logic, you go right in front of the alien cruiser in your courier and prepare to open fire with mass drivers.
47. You think those red things that the alien cruiser fires are apple flavored alien life savers and thus try to catch them.
48. After wandering around the Levo system for 4 hours evading asteroids, you have a mental breakdown.
49. After wandering around the Levo system for 10 minutes evading stars, you have a mental breakdown.
50. After wandering around the Levo system for 72 hours evading asteroids, stars, and trying to land on Levo by flying your ship at the planet, you have a mental breakdown and a siezure (sp?).
51. You remain totally oblivious to the fact that there are such things as "Missions".
52. You remain totally oblivious to the fact that there is such a thing as "Buying more ships".
53. You remain totally oblivious to the fact that the alien cruiser is one heck of a dreadnaught and try to take it on in your light frieghter.
54. You arm yourself with torpedoes but neglect to buy the launcher thinking the torpedoes launch themselves.
55. You can't seem to find the Ambrosia SW people.
56. You can't seem to find phasers like in Star Trek in the outfit shop.
57. You wonder why Captain Hector buzzes you all the time and you can't kill them. Thinking this is a bug, you flame Andrew for it by e-mail, AIM, ICQ, IRC, and on the webboards.
58. You try to find the planet called "Hector's World" that Captain Hector just purchased...
59. You wonder why Matt Burch always blows apart your Clipper, and then decide that a shuttle with one laser cannon would be much more effective.
60. You are perplexed why Matt Burch looks like a Kestrel...
61. You are perplexed why Andrew Welch looks like a Luxury Liner...
62. You are perplexed why Captain Hector looks like a Rapier when you thought he was a parrot, and spam the webboards about it...
63. Using logic, you deduce the following: 1 defender = 0 threat. Thus, 1 x 0 = 0 no threat. So, 500 defenders would be: 500 x 0 = no threat!
64. You deduce #63 in a bulk frieghter.
65. You think the blue dots on the Confed Cruiser are targets, and decide to hit them using your laser cannon mounted on your light frieghter.
66. You think the Confeds are good and decide to raid Rebel HQ in your shuttle.
67. You think that because Ruby is just a small moon, it has a puny defense fleet.
66. You mistaken a Rebel Destroyer for an Argosey and decide to attack in in your Courier.
67. You think that a Clipper is invincible.
68. You think that a Confed Cruiser and Rebel Cruiser are really dinky.
69. You attack a Kestrel head on in a Lighting firing only laser cannons with the following in mind: Lightning can easily kill a bird, so a Lightning should easily be able to kill a Kestrel, which is another type of bird.
70. You try and escape from 2 dozen Defenders in an Argosey.
71. You try and defeat 2 Confed Cruisers in a Defender.
72. You think that Defenders do all the defending, so think that Palshife has defender defense fleet, and demand tribute from in in your scoutship.
73. Because a Hawk was able to take out an "Invincible" Bulk Frieghter, you buy a Hawk bay, two hawk fighters, and decide to attack a "Dinky" Rebel Cruiser in your Argosy.
74. You try to convince the Rebels to paint their ships blue....Death within 2 minutes.
75. You try to convince a Pirate that brandy is bad.....Death within 1 minute
76. You get the brilliant idea of staging a meeting between Pirate, Lethe, Cydonian, Independent, Confed, and Rebel officials all on your own ship. Blasters, knives, grenades, and bombs allowed.
77. Your ship explodes exactly 30 seconds after the meeting starts.
78. You try and convince a Lethe that the Cydonians are nice....Death within 15 seconds.
79. You have done all the stuff above.
80. And you still think that you are good at EV.*

-Captain Carnotaur

*-Ignorance is bliss, and what you don't know can still hurt you.

------------------
If at first you don't succeed...Hit it harder! - Me
--------------
Millennium. Its coming, prepare for it.
Coming to the (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiaSW.com/games/ev/chronicles.html")EV Chronicles(/url).

(This message has been edited by Captain Carnotaur (edited 05-19-2001).)