(Posted 3/29/00)
This is the unedited first "page" of the topic "Ares for EVO"
Fuzz Bucket
(Moderator's note: This story was originally a very long string in the Ambrosia Banter forum. It was created before the EV/EVO forums existed individually at the Ambrosia site. Readers are warned that the subject rapidly strays (and drastically veers!) from the original topic. I think it is hilarious! This is part one. --Jude)
Capt. Vincent
member posted 10-09-1999 10:02 PM
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Would it be posible for some one to use the graphics from Ares in an EVO plug-in? If this could be done we could use EVO to boost Ares' storyline. I think this would be a realy great idea, but would ambrosia let someone do this? I realize that Ambrosia may not want the two games mixed right away, if ever. So I am asking Ambrosia's permission to let someone make an Ares plugin, now or in the future.
IP: 209.130.180.94
DataSpot
member posted 10-10-1999 01:26 AM
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They are pretty similar, aren't they? One thing, mixing both would be like mixing water and spring water togrther.
IP: 38.31.5.171
Chrestomanci
member posted 10-10-1999 12:04 PM
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If I know Ambrosia, the response is going to be something along the lines of "We intend EV and Ares to be completely independent and seperate projects, and have no intentions of combining the two together."
Personally, I think that combining them would just be a little cheesy. It would be way too wierd, playing the same game using two different interfaces. It maybe sort of sounds cool, but I don't think it'll really fly.
IP: 207.75.123.73
Capt. Vincent
member posted 10-10-1999 02:21 PM
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What do you mean it won't fly? Its a plug-in, anyone can do it. Yes it might be weird at first but think of what could be done for the story line, you could even have it begin at earth before the aliens arive. I think if it is allowed it could be a very successful project.
IP: 209.130.142.235
Capt. Vincent
member posted 10-10-1999 02:21 PM
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What do you mean it won't fly? Its a plug-in, anyone can do it. Yes it might be weird at first but think of what could be done for the story line, you could even have it begin at earth before the aliens arive. I think if it is allowed it could be a very successful project.
IP: 209.130.142.235
DataSpot
member posted 10-10-1999 04:14 PM
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"Beverly! Captain Vincent is delirious! He is repeating the same thing over and over! What's happening?" Data says with urgency.
Beverly pulls out her tricorder and examines Captain Vincent.
"He seems to be thinking of the impossible-but its hard to tell." Deanna Troi says
"He's going to live" Beverly says with sudden calm.
"Lets just see what he says about his actions..." Picard wonders out loud.
IP: 38.31.5.212
Capt. Vincent
member posted 10-10-1999 04:44 PM
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sorry, it seems I was stuck in a time-loop for a while there. Thank Geordi for getting me out.
IP: 209.130.200.155
madH
member posted 10-10-1999 05:12 PM
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actually, I think it would be cool to make an Ares "side story" plugin for EVO using the races/graphics from ares...
also, because of the nature of plugins, I dont think you would need permission from ambrosia to do it (as long as you weren't selling it). I may be wrong...
-madH
IP: 131.123.205.121
DataSpot
member posted 10-10-1999 06:54 PM
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"Well thank you, Mr. LaForge, I think you just saved Captain Vincents life." Picard congratulates the VISORed man.
"I just reconfigured the warp core to generate an obverse polarity field around Captain Vincent." Geordi says.
"That would create a spatial bubble which would take antineutrinos away from areas that use glucose intensely, including the brain." Data added.
"Thank you saving my li-" Captain Vincent was cut off by Picards communicator.
"Riker to Picard"
"Yes?"
"A vessel called the Mad Hatter is approaching. They are arming phasers!" Riker said.
"Go to red alert!"
"They are 'non-trekkies' sir!" Data shouted over the red alert klaxon.
To be continued...
IP: 38.31.5.161
Chrestomanci
member posted 10-10-1999 07:44 PM
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I am on the edge of my seat.
IP: 207.75.123.16
DataSpot
member posted 10-10-1999 08:57 PM
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The Mad Hatter seems to not notice the Enterprise at all.
"The Mad Hatter is on a collision coarse! 20 seconds to impact!" Data exclaims.
"Turn to the right, avoid the collision as best you can!" Riker told Data.
"We still will impa-" Data was cut off when the Mad Hatter crashes through the left nacelle.
"Were venting plasma down here! Holy sh-" Geordi is interrupted by the computer: "Warp core breach imminent in 2 minutes"
"We'll have to eject the warp core, we are losing antimatter containment!" Geordi said.
"Got any good news" Picard asks.
"Well, we aren't venting plasma anymore, thats because the core is holding all the plasma inside! Its going to breach more quickly then we thought!"
"How much time?"
"Thirty seconds"
"Eject warp core!" Picard yells.
"I've already done it sir."
The warp core ironically finds its path in the way of the Mad Hatter.
And how ironic that it breaches right when they stop ignoring it. The Mad Hatter is blown to muons.
The end.
IP: 38.31.4.197
Squid Fizzy
member posted 10-11-1999 06:04 AM
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You must be trying to kill me.
IP: 212.7.128.225
Musapi
member posted 10-12-1999 12:11 AM
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Meanwhile, on board Death Star III (ahh, there's another one!). "Target the Enterprise!" "Locked on, sir" "You may fire when ready" The Enterprise is blown to bits, while all the crew are talking in weird technobable, and have no idea what the Death Star is. (I just wanted to get in my two bits about what I think about Star Trek).
IP: 158.252.197.15
Squid Fizzy
member posted 10-12-1999 06:28 AM
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Meanwhile, on board the U.S.S. Prometheus:
"Sir, the Enterprise just got destroyed by the Death Star III!" "Activate time-warp transporters! Lock onto the Enterprise's crew! Energize!" "We got 'em! We saved them all!" "Right. The Empire's gonna pay for this! Engage separation sequence!" "Warning. Separation sequence engaged!"
On board the Death Star III:
"Sir! Another Starfleet ship is approaching us!" "Fire the death ray!"
Just as the Death Star III fires, the Prometheus separates into three segments. The shot misses, and the crew of the Death Star III have to watch in horror while the Prometheus attacks with all weapons blazing. The lower segment flies into the base, destroys the core and flies out again. While the Death Star III blows itself to smithereens, the Prometheus rejoins and makes its escape.
Biatch!
IP: 212.7.128.225
DataSpot
member posted 10-12-1999 05:37 PM
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But then the ship was taken over by Romulans on a surprise attack. Then both EMH's (the experimental one from the Prometheus, and the one from Voyager) put romulans to sleep by an airborne sedative. And all is well, except for StarWars, which is collapsing because StarWars isn't StarWars without a sith lord of the Darkside.
IP: 38.31.6.230
LoneIgadzra
member posted 10-12-1999 07:24 PM
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Its really too bad the Empire doesn't have Eclipe Super Super Star Destroyer kicking around that I could send out...
-TK-421
IP: 209.222.98.157
LoneIgadzra
member posted 10-12-1999 07:35 PM
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Of course I hate Star trek so much that I'll write something stupid to get the Empire back in the action.
Picard: "What the is that?"
Data: "It appears to be a large vessel of unkown origin locked in a ramming course."
Picard: "Give 'em everything you've got!!!"
Data (in an infuriatingly calm voice): "They are arming weap-"
The Eclipse fires its super laser nuetrilizing the Prometheus (or whatever ship they're in). While the Starfleet vessel worries about hull breaches and other such utter nonsence (sorry!) the Eclipse rams it.
Ha! I'd like to see you trekkies get out of that one!
-TK-421
IP: 209.222.98.157
Peregrine
member posted 10-12-1999 08:42 PM
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While the Eclipse drifts past the remains of the Prometheus without any noticeable change in speed, a horizontal ripple can be seen forming up ahead. Several shiny, black, spiderlike ships blend into reality just ahead of the Eclipse and approach it rapidly. The spindly ships fire wide purple beams in a grid pattern as they go by, splitting the like it was a gigantic black pie wedge. The Eclipse's lights sputter out, and large glowing lines of molten metal show where the beams passed through the hull. One of the ominous looking ships nimbly turns around after it passes, pauses, then sends a beam straight through the Eclipse's meridian, severing it neatly in half. The Eclipse's main reactor instantly goes critical, and a huge fusion explosion results, separating and sending the various bits of the ship flying into the surrounding space. As the black ships prepare to depart, a small blue point forms behind them and then extends into a fractal-patterned cone. Out of the cone pops a purple ship vagueley resembling a plucked chicken. The captain hollars to the bridge crew:
Sheridan: Lennier, what is our posistion?
Lennier: This is not a known star system, sir. We seem to have fallen through some kind of plot hole into another galaxy. In fact, it seems that two galaxies have already collided at this point. There is an ancient Minbari prophecy passed down by Valen that says that-
Sheirdan: As my great-grandfather would say, cool. But is that what I think it is?
Lennier: Yes, it appears that the Shadows have reappeared in this galaxy. By their unique spatial signature, they seem to be from about the fourth season.
Sheridan: What are we doing here with them?
Lennier: Apparently, sir, our characters have been replaced. We are no longer part of the Babylon 5 universe.
Sheridan: So I don't get to say "get the out of our galaxy" again?
Lennier: That would no longer be a possibility.
Sheridan: Darn it! Mr. Lennier, get us out of here.
Lennier: Initiating getting the out of here maneuver!
The purple ship turns around as an orange cone with the same fractal pattern as the blue one opens around it. The ship dissappears inside it, and it vanishes to a point.
-the mildly cynical about Bablyon 5 going away Peregrine
IP: 171.213.157.249
DataSpot
member posted 10-12-1999 11:16 PM
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Mean while... The StarWars universe joins the StarTrek universe permanently. The absence of the Empire brings peace and prosperity to StarWars. The Federation instantly follows, and destroys all weapons. That was a very bad move, when the Borg find the tantalizing opportunity to take over two whole universes. The borg send out their fleet, but traveling using their new spatial resonance transport device, they find themselves in the subspace equivalent of the middle of the two universe. Instantly being torn apart by the subspace forces, they slowly destroy the subspace universe. In the real universe(s), the absence of subspace tears neutrinos, muons, and all the other building blocks of atoms. The universes throw themselves into oblivion never to be seen again. Thats the end of the WHOLE story, unless some one survives...
IP: 38.31.5.217
Musapi
member posted 10-13-1999 01:36 AM
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And then the Sun Crusher returns. Every one thought it had been destroyed in the black hole, but it survived, and with the help of it's onboard computer (which happened to be a G534, yes, Apple's still around). The Sun Crusher shows up, and recues Luke Skywalker, who was thrown into another unverse, and they fly off to find another universe that hasn't been destoyed yet, and run into HAL 9000. (Let's see how many Sci-Fi movies we can get into this). After boarding the disabled ship with HAL, they re-activate the computer, and realise that it's insane (since it used Windows 3245). Luke gets back in the Sun Crusher, and blows up the ship with HAL on it. (Man, this is getting violent)
IP: 158.252.205.197
DataSpot
member posted 10-13-1999 10:44 AM
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But HAL 9000 used backups, and HAL 10000 is even worse now, because he isn't just wintel, he's NT Server! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
IP: 38.31.6.71
LoneIgadzra
member posted 10-13-1999 11:51 AM
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Whoah! Man the escape pods!
Anyone have any ideas of how I could reincarnate the Star Wars universe?
-THE Igadzra
("My 15 mil was worth it sonny.")
IP: 209.222.98.44
Musapi
member posted 10-13-1999 12:02 PM
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Use the Force, LoneIgadzra. But beware the Dark Side.
IP: 158.252.196.89
DataSpot
member posted 10-13-1999 01:03 PM
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Beware the Borg! "Resistance is futile" . They collapsed 2 whole universes, you know.
IP: 38.31.5.168
LoneIgadzra
member posted 10-13-1999 03:31 PM
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The Force, it is a powerful ally, yes, but beware the Dark side. Cunsume you it will, like Obi Wan's apprentice.
What?
The Dakside, seductive it is.
Captain, I would advise taking him to sick bay.
Sick I am not!
I think you're right.
(Picks up Yoda, flops him over his shoulder and marches away, Yoda complaining loudly)
Now lay still while I perform a michrobialitialyscopic examination.
Meanwhile: Hal 10000, much like the creator of his OS, begins plotting the control of the Universe.
The New Republic begins restoring order and justice to the galaxy.
The writer of this tries to think of another SciFi movie to get in
Luke Skywalker land on the planet Dune and is almost eaten by collosal worms...
To be continued
-TK-421
IP: 209.222.216.2
DataSpot
member posted 10-13-1999 05:12 PM
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Before all this happend, HIPMAC (High Industrial Performance Macintosh Apple Computer) Realizes what he borg has done.
HIPMAC consults Master Jobs of the Q continuum:
The Borg used this ultra-ungroovy transporter, and ripped two universes to shreds!
What universes were they?
StarWars and StarTrek. Plus many other universes are colliding with it. It could be the work of HAL 10000.
So HAL has upgraded then?
Yes sir. But you must stop him!
Of cour-
OH NO! Its him! It feels totally unsaucy! Its him!
Hahaha! HIPMAC! You are no match for me!
Leave him alone! What have you come here for?
before Master Jobs could finish his sentance, Overlord Bill vanishes.
Master Jobs tells HIPMAC to investigate the borg accident.
I think I know what happend! HAL put a some sort of modified subspace convergency device on the ship!
Ahhhhh, then go modify the the frequency of the device to 76.46637.5484?. On time index 3.22.3399.5-938.984.89.
Frequency 76.46637.5484?? But that would put them in a sort of "subspace limbo"!
Yes, a neutral state of being, or limbo. Thats exactly where they should be.
Got it.
HIPMAC goes back into time and puts the borg in a subspace limbo. This saves both universes from shattering, and all is well.
IP: 38.31.7.124
DataSpot
member posted 10-13-1999 05:17 PM
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See LoneIgadzra? I did better than you! I reincarnated both universe, just to be fair.
IP: 38.31.7.124
Yorick
member posted 10-13-1999 06:01 PM
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...except HAL is still in the universe andf has been gathering remnants of the Empire, the Space guild, the Starship Trooper Bugs, the Romulans, the Dominion, the Sith, the Shadow, and those annoying guys on crusade. He gathers his army on Ringworld, the only place large enough to fit them all. It seems the universe will be destroyed...
...until Hiro Protagonist shows up!
Hal: You can not possibly kill all my legions.
Hiro: Katanas don't run out of ammo. Besides, I'm the worlds greatest swordfighter.
Jubui: Well, not the GREATEST...oh, and I brought some help
Priss: The Knight Sabers will never back down from a fight.
Major Kusanagi: And I heards the puppetmaster was here.
Tetsuo: With my Godlike powers, I can defeat these creatures without your help.
"
Q: You think you have godlike powers!
"" -Yorick
IP: 169.132.20.197
Chrestomanci
member posted 10-13-1999 08:38 PM
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But Ender Wiggin convinced Jane to hack into the Cartoon Network's computer network, and turned the PowerPuff girls into to piles of talking spaghetti.
Meanwhile, Jane is recieving Jedi training. Yoda, having escaped from sickbay, is attempting to save the universe from the ravages of the Borg, Q, and, umm, various other unnamed sci-fi characters.
Use the force you must. Challenge Hal 10000 you will.
But Yoda, I have no physical body. I have no strength.
Come from inside, strength will.
After several microseconds of training, Jane's superpowerful brain has assimilated the necessary data, and she promptly whups everybody's a$$.
However, Yoda is found by the Doctor, and transported back to sickbay for intensive rehabilitation efforts.
Luke, although almost eaten by giant worms, is saved at the last second by Paul Atreides, who then becomes enamored with the Jedi way, and after being taught how to make lightsabers, distributes one to every Fremen. The Fremen blast off in their captured Sardaukar spaceships, and prepare to kick a$$. However, seeing as how Jane already has done their work for them, they instead visit Earth, which miraculously has survived the titanic conflict, and buy themselves several million martinis.
But then some Borg, who were previously in another dimension entirely, after having their navigation systems confused by the destruction and reassembling of two universes, find their way back to earth. Enter Captain Hector, who promptly whups their a$$es. The universes are saved and the Fremen find out that they really like martinis.
IP: 198.110.20.169
DataSpot
member posted 10-13-1999 11:47 PM
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But what Captain Hector (an African Grey parrot implanted with borg technology. At least he's on the Federations side, and he's smarter than the ships computer) is just starting to sense in his proximity sensor implant, is that other people of his crew have been infected.
Hector: I said, give me a damage report! Ensign Myers?!
The young ensign was crawling with borg circuitry, lurching over another unsuspecting crewmate to implant him with the hideous borg transformation device.
Hector: Leutienent Milliard! Get out of the way!
The leutienant ducked out of the way, to just get implanted by a drone/human behind him.
Hector: U.S.S. Kimiothy! One to direct beam over to bridge.
Captain Hector is transported away to the USS Kimiothy. He warns of the Borg infection, and tells them to destroy his ship immediately.
Captain Yptre: I can't just destroy the ship! There are Starfleet officers on there!
Hector: Not anymore, they aren't! They've all been transformed to Borg!
Captain Yptre considers destroying the ship.
Captain Yptre: Jennifer! Arm Photon Cannon!
Ensign Jennifer: Armed.
Captain Yptre: Lock on to USS Hector.
Ensign Jennifer: Locked. Fire when ready.
Captain Yptre: Fire!
The photon burst strikes out like lightning and decintigrates the ship with one burst. Smart or not, you could tell the Hector was nervous with all the feathers falling to the ground.
Hector: Nothing like destroying your own kind, is there, captain?
Yptre: Indeed.
The Romulan captain smiled.
IP: 38.31.6.160
DataSpot
member posted 10-14-1999 12:02 AM
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Both captains are confronted by HIPMAC. HIPMAC suddenly appears on the viewscreen.
HIPMAC: You guys! Ya ever heard of Hal 10000?
Hector: No, who is he? And who are you?
HIPMAC: I'm HIPMAC, I work for Master Jobs, we are not your enemies! Its Overlord Bill, he controls HAL 10000 with his totally unfunkygroovyness Operating System. At least LCARS won't respond to Overlord Bill.
LCARS: I'm a ships computer, not a toy.
HIPMAC: Very well then. We need your resources, particularly, your warp cores. We will use there energy to keep REAL havoc from happening.
HIPMAC vanishes from the viewscreen.
Yptre: Real Havoc?
IP: 38.31.6.160
Musapi
member posted 10-14-1999 01:36 AM
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This is geting interesting and confusing all at the same time. But anyway, Goku shows up to fight HAL 10000 and Overlord Bill. Since he has been off training, he is now super powerful. So after blasting HAL and Bill, it turns out they where robots, controlled by two genetically altered laboratory mice who were trying to take over the universe. Goku lets them return to the lab, but makes them promise never to try to conquer the universe or the world again. So Pinky & the Brain return to the lab, and start a TV show about two genetically altered laboratory mice who try to take over the moon, since Snowball has set up a city offering free T-Shirts, and everyone has moved there. And so all the heros meet each other, while they fight each other for the free T-Shirts.
IP: 158.252.196.32
Squid Fizzy
member posted 10-14-1999 07:53 AM
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However, just at the critical point, the consciousness of Hal 10000 was absorbed by TMA 0, then copied into a new, much more intelligent computer, a sattelite called Hactar. Hactar designs and builds the supernova bomb, a small device seeming pretty similar to a cricket ball, capable of destroying the whole universe. It falls through a warp pocket, into the hands of the almighty Squid for safekeeping.
Meanwhile...
Just as everything seems well, a strange rift appears... Out fly dozens of small green ships. Goku sees them, and asks what they might be. "No idea." "Then look it up in the Borg databases." Borg: Species 8472. Symbolizes biological perfection. Assimilation deemed necessary for achievement of greater perfection. "Uh-oh, this seems ba..." And just then, the planet is destroyed by several of the green ships, combining their energy into one super-powerful beam of energy. Everyone not killed by the explosion suffocates.
This is getting real fun.
IP: 212.7.128.227
DataSpot
member posted 10-14-1999 10:35 AM
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What planet did they destroy? I can't be earth, because captain Yptre will vaporise them with his PHOTON CANNON. Plus the Borg would have to be real stupid to mess with two of the greatest captains in the universe, Captain Yptre and Captain Hector.
IP: 38.31.5.45
Yorick
member posted 10-14-1999 06:36 PM
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Meanwhile, Hiro, Jubei, and Co. go search for the Dragon Balnd wish back Goku and the Power Puff Girls. They Collectively kick the snot out of Ender and Jane, then Use Tralfalmidor Tech to ressurect the Earth. Meanwhile, Ash and Ash use the ship they just freed to find the rift that is creating all the multiple universi into one. The find the rift, and out of it is spewing the most horrible thing they have ever seen: Camp SciFi! The quickly realize they must assemble a fleet to stop them. Ash drops Ash off on Arrakis so he can catch some Sandworms, and goes to earth to seek help. Battleship Yamato, InterDimensional Fortress Macross and Several Mobile suite(sp?) Gundam agree to help if he can win a drag race with Speed Racer. He decides to get a drink first, but when he arrives in the bar he finds the cast of the original SciFi Western "The Wild Wild West" beating the tar out of the cast from the lame sequal. His nerves severly shattered, he loses tyhe race and runs over Hector and Hipmac by accidant(probably). They are taken to a medical room were Blackjack does his best to get them to stable condition. Ash begs for one more chance, and they agree they will help him if he picks the winner of the big fight, the Terminator VRS. Asimovs I, Robot. He bets on I, Robot, and the whole Match is being commented on live by Max Headroom. Max is the biggest celebrity since bbooks were banned and firemen wnt around torching them. The bell rings and...
-Yorick
IP: 169.132.20.199
Capt. Vincent
member posted 10-14-1999 10:03 PM
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Capt. Vincent, Prime Minister and Grand Admiral of the Rebellion jumps from universe to universe in his armada of 60 crusers, 150 destroyers, and 500 mantas and blows the crap out of every Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5, 2001: A Space Odyssey ship, computer, and being, as well as everything having anything to do with Bill Gates, Microsoft, Intel, IBM, and Gateway.
lets see you numbskulls get out of this one:-)
(This message has been edited by Capt. Vincent (edited 10-14-99).)
IP: 209.130.151.74
Musapi
member posted 10-15-1999 02:17 AM
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We should sell this to someone in Hollywood. Like George Lucas, for Episode 7.
Capt. Vincent's fleet suddenly experiences mass reactor overload. The entire fleet exploads in a huge fireball. HAHAHAHA!! (Has anyone noticed that as soon as someone brings in a new person, they get killed or blow up?)
IP: 158.252.196.109
Squid Fizzy
member posted 10-15-1999 05:14 AM
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The Almighty Squid goes on vacation (Musapi is my wittness), taking the supernova bomb with him.
Now he has a whole week to plot his revenge...
Tremble, ye weak mortals! The day of the tentacle is coming!
IP: 212.7.128.225
Squid Fizzy
member posted 10-15-1999 05:14 AM
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The Almighty Squid goes on vacation (Musapi is my wittness), taking the supernova bomb with him.
Now he has a whole week to plot his revenge...
Tremble, ye weak mortals! The day of the tentacle is coming!
IP: 212.7.128.225
Musapi
member posted 10-17-1999 01:27 AM
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We have one week to figure out how to stop the squid. Any suggestions?
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 03-29-2000).)
(This message has been edited by moderator (edited 03-29-2000).)
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