(Complied by members of the EVO Webboard)
(list=1)
() You go to church and pray for the conversion of the Voinians
() You wonder why the President pays so much attention to the Mideast crisis when there's a much bigger Strand war going on
() You win the $21 million Ed McMahon sweepstakes and then say into the camera: "I'm gonna by a Crescent Warship!"
() You have a "Borb for President" bumper sticker.
() You have a "McPherson for President" bumper sticker.
() When you see a map, you don't see cities and roads, but systems and hyperspace routes.
() You spend all your days searching the backstreets and alleyways of both Lima and Lyons but you still cannot find the meeting place of the UE Parliament.
() You're the one who holds up the "Free the Hinwar!" sign at protest rallies.
() No matter now many (real) bars you go into, nobody wants to give you a mission.
() You brag to your girlfriend about how you Monty Pythoned a Voinian Dreadnought with a Krait and when you whisper sweet nothings in her ear you make obscure references to the UE-Voinian war, Igadzra ships and Miranu trade routes.
() Your girlfriend is jealous of this Anna Balashova you always keep talking about
() When your ex-girlfriend says "You've got a cold heart," you reply "actually, it's Frozen Heart, and I've got Femme Fatale, too."
() You speak fluent Voinian
() You speak fluent Miranu
() You speak fluent Emalgha
() You speak fluent Zidagar, Igadzra and Azdgari
() Even though they try to sympathize with you, the local right-wing militia extremists can't make sense of your "Free Huron!" banners
() After playing MAGMA , you ask Meowx to revise your school picture
() You go to NASA and fly up to the International Space Station, only to be disappointed at the fact that it does not have a bar, shipyard, outfit supply, commodity exchange, or even a mission computer- and your armor and shields are not repaired either!
() You get ticketed for speeding and you tell the officer things like, "I don't have to pay money to YOU- you have to pay tribute to ME! I dominate this world! I wiped out your defense fleet and I get (whatever) credits a DAY from you! huh!"
() You make out extensive plans to upgrade the family car with a hyperdrive, shields, and some heavy missile launchers.
() You sit down at your keyboard and your right hand automatically lands on the thrust (arrow) keys, and your left hand automatically touches down on the "target select" (tab)and "secondary weapon trigger" (shift) keys.
() You get sudden compulsions to hunt renegades when you get low on cash.
() The bank tellers give you funny looks when you ask for "Pirate Parrot Insurance."
() You fall victim to "Forditis" at least once a week.
() You go into a room and say "Hey, përs!"
() When you want someone to explain something, you ask for a better dësc
() You use the word "spöb" 50 times in your astronomy paper.
() You refer to organizations as düdes
() Your name is OctoberFost J
() You spend 24 hours a day on the ASW Webboards
() You have all 1800+ member's signatures memorized
() Anytime you go on AIM, day or night, you have at least 5 people you can talk about EV/O with on your buddy list
() When you are doing another game you keep pressing Z causing you to get a view left instead of afterburners to escape the mothership.
() Every time you go to a vehicle dealer you ask if they have any used shuttles you can buy for less then five thousand credits.
() You try to establish a new government party: the Voinian party.
() You search all the star charts you can find for the Saalia system because you HAVE to get your hands on some of that brandy.
() You E-Mail the government asking where to find New Chicago because you need to earn a lot of money fast by joining Stellar Corps.
() Every time you do a magic show you try to pull a Hriness out of a hat instead of a rabbit.
() Ever morning when you get up you wonder why all this "Microsoft" stuff is still around when apple will have driven them bankrupt in the year 2400.
() You scour pet stores around the country for those lovable fuzzes everyone likes.
() Throughout every class, visions of systems and missions for a yet-to-be-built plug dance through your head.
() When you see a computer, you have to go look for new topics on the web board.
() You call up the local theater and ask for tickets to the next Zidagar opera.
() You stay awake at night trying to figure out just what the council is
() You start associating the people you don't like with Voinians
() You ask the bank teller if you can make a withdraw of 5,000 credits
() You’ve ever lost sleep wondering how you could keep walking around in circles on council station
() You feel more at home when your in the captain’s quarters
() You dream of massive space battles in your sleep
() You have ever had delusions of mediocrity
() You try in vain to find the afterburner when you want to overtake another car.
() You expect the fruit machines at your local pub to have pictures of spaceships.
() You post a topic like this.
() You name your pet parrot hector
() You're at the VW dealership, buying a new Golf: You demand leather seats, CD player... and RCS upgrades.
() You wish the dashboard had a button marked 'Hyperspace'.
() You see the display of garden sheds at B&Q;, and find yourself wondering if they were built by the Emalgha.
() Everyone else at an airshow is impressed by the aerobatics of the MiG 29 - and you're thinking "Nah, my Azdara could make mincemeat of that."
() You've never heard of the Pleiades and you couldn't find Sirius - but you know exactly where to find Dogovor.
() You see a newspaper headline that says "Cease-fire Collapses!", and you don't think about Northern Ireland... you think about Voinia.
() You're going to attend the first international EV* convention, in Seattle.
() You're confused, because there isn't a planet or station called 'Seattle' on your star map.
() Your eyeballs have evaporated as a result of staring at the monitor too long, probably while trying to figure out 'Beyond the Crescent'.
() You can answer every question in the FAQ.
() You have already posted an answer to every question in the FAQ.
() You spend the classes drawing EV/O ships
() You have a EV/O ship as desktop background
() You buy EV Edit and arm yourself with a copy of ResEdit.
() You download free ship graphics using links on the EVO site.
() You download free planet graphics using links on the EVO site.
() You put this mess into one system of a plugin (which just happens to be the only part of your entire total conversion plug).
() Give up and let the whole mess fade into the sunset.
() You are fluent in Russian (incase the English part of the UEN isn't working).
() You tell NASA not to bother with Mars; it won’t be colonized by 2150 anyway.
() You're best friends with Ali Saladi.
() Your house has no gravity.
() You spend 24/7 investigating the plausibility of some of the weapons in EVO.
() You actually invent a blaze cannon using a laser and a liquid nitrogen cooling system.
() You accuse Al Gore of being a Voinian collaborator.
() You accidentally blow up the neighbors house when you try to make a shield regenerator with liquid hydrogen and some PVC tubing.
() Your friends are puzzled when you say "I get 20 credits allowance a week!"
() You refer to Great Britain, USA, China, and so on as "gövt".
() When looking at a car crash scene in the newspaper you think to yourself "Some Bronov Plating could've saved that car"
() When referring to Star Trek: Generations, you accidentally say "Lets go watch Escape Velocity: Nova!"
() You search for the course: 'how to fly a Crescent Fighter'
() You scrounge around airports and military bases with your camera looking for that new UE starship
() Your favorite holiday-spot is that new planet you discovered
() You go to meetings of believers in extra-terrestrial life and heavily criticize the view that alien ships are saucer-shaped. And tell them: "But why sit here?, Grab your scoutship and you can visit them any day!"
() You scourge every gun show in your state to see if you can get your hands on an a Disco Machine Gun
() You have sent a hit man after Andrew for not making the Voinian ships able to beat U.E. ships AI vs. AI.
() You have made numerous bomb threats at NASA to keep them behind the Voinians.
() You have changed your real name to include a reference to EVO.
() You sit in math (supposedly) studying for the School Certificate exams on Tuesday, but really designing ships. In the margin.
() Someone insults you, and the first reply you think of is (something like) "Renegade Voinian".
() You ask your local car dealer whether your model comes equipped with a fuel scoop, to save on gas.
() You've been campaigning to have Matt Burch's two (soon to be three) Holy works added to religious texts.
() You drive backwards down a road, matching the speed of the car directly in front of you while screaming at the person in the passenger seat to fire all weapons systems.
() You then try to explain you were doing a Monty Python maneuver to the cop when you are pulled over.
() You go to Vegas and are puzzled when the slot machines don't have the EV ships on them.
() You post to a topic about the signs of being an EVO fanatic
() Even though you search through all the rivers of the world, you still cannot find the infamous Purple River Eel
() You wonder why REAL gambling machines don’t have pictures of spaceships on them.
() You call photographs "PICTs".
() When you look at star charts you wonder why they don’t show hyperspace routes.
() Your first word was "Azdgari".
() When you hear about the presidential race, you don’t think of Bush vs. Gore, you think of McPherson vs. (UE vice-president).
() You wonder why Mazda, Dodge, Ford, and so on are so worried about conserving fuel, when all they have to do is just add a ramscoop to their cars!
() You took all the time to read through each and everyone one of these post's.
() You try to find a way to make your exhaust pipe drop defense pods.
() You try to make your headlights work as Blaze Cannons.
() You try to buy additional fuel tanks for your car.
() Throw plums off the roof of your car and brag about your neutron weaponry
() You never, ever, spell any EVO races name or planet name wrong.
() At school or work, you act like you’re an EVO ship. You act out a lifting off sequence when getting up, a warp sequence while in the hall ways, you pour drinks in your pocket to refuel, and all the while screaming the key commands to do such activities.
() When you check in at a hotel, you ask the hotel clerk whether or not you get a holo-vid in your room, and how many credits the rent is.
() You put EVO in your Startup Folder.
() You call the White House to demand tribute.
() You print screenshots of all of the EVO shipyard pictures and replace them with the picture of your girlfriend and your family.
() You tell your co-workers that you own a Dreadnought, and you can get 7 jumps to the gallon.
() You see a speeding Mercedes, call it a renegade and attempt to shoot out tires so you can board it and steal it's credits, cargo, and possibly use it as your own car.
() You joined the animal rights group because you want to save the fuzzes.
() You join the International Trading Rights Association and say that they should start using Miranu couriers.
() When a police car tries to pull you over, you floor the accelerator and speed away screaming "You'll never take me alive over-protective militia!!!"
()...And then you explain to the authorities that you thought the officer was going to shoot his phase cannons at you.
() You post at least 500 times a day on the webboards.
() You become a moderator on six boards.
() You start the National Hinwar Rights Association, located in a city you recently founded called Hinavar.
() You have picts of EVO ships in your wallet.
() You’re a stock broker on UE commodity exchange.
() You protest about the govt taking away our blaze cannons.
() You wonder why the speed limit is 70 mph when your ship has an average speed of 300.
() You wonder why you can't find the mission computer at NASA.
() You intercept and disable a convoy of semitrucks and wonder where the airlock is.
() You demand tribute from ISS.
() You check back at topics like this one.
() You wonder why politicians always concentrate on tax cuts and all kinds of reforms, when they should be talking about fighting the Voinians or strand war policies.
() You get all the jokes
() You think they're funny
() You can relate to them
() You have designed a working tractor beam
() And SAE modules
() You refer to stupid people as Voinians
() Your dads name is "McPherson"
() Your mothers name is "Anna Balashova"
() Your brother's name is "Stud Beefpile"
() You named your car "Journeyman"
() Your first word was "Zachit"
() Your two cousins are named Rick Hardslab and Dash Riprock.
() You learn magic tricks and are able to do the follow things:
Make a fuzz come out of your hat
Make a phase beamer come out of the mouth of a pigeon
Make models of EV and EVO ships come out of your ears and mouth
You are able to turn a person into a Zidagar, Azdgari, and an Igadzra and then turn them back again
You are able to swallow defense pods and make them come out from behind other peoples ears
() You call UPS saying "You know, you should really start using Miranu heavy freighters, they carry a lot more cargo than your trucks, and go faster too. Too bad they cost about a million credits. Oh well, you can just dominate a stellar to get the money."
() You intend to ask the librarian "Where is the book called "The Tale of Two Cities" and you accidentally say "Where is the book titled 'The Tale of Two Spaceports'"?
() You ask the librarian where is the EV and EVO sections.
You go to a fish store and ask if they have any purple river eels.
() You can remember every DSN number in the game.
() You curse loudly when this topic jumps to the top of the list...
() When watching reports about the election, you think the REAL reason this election is messed up is because someone put the ballots in a ship that is now disabled in the Carinae (Frozen Heart joke)
() You think that the Longhorns are the fourth Strand because they keep fighting the Aggys (Aggies) all the time.
() You tell all new employees to read the web board guidelines before coming to a meeting and asking questions.
() You call your boss Andrew.
() When someone tells a joke you say LOL! LOL! (OK it's not EVO related.)
() When you accidentally run into Andrew Welch you throw him to the floor and start stomping on him to get that 188,000 credits.
() When you meet someone you know and he says hi, you only go talk to him to find out about recent price drops
() When you're driving your car and a group of schoolkids crosses over you think 'goddamn Kraits' and hit the Gas pedal
() You spend spare time trying to think of something to add to this thread
() You get annoyed when other people don’t have the patience to read over 70 posts the check they're not repeating something
() When you go to Las Vegas your disappointed the slot machines don't have ships on them
() You count the number of posts in a thread, Only to remember the number of replies are listed on the web board
() You tape record the sound effects, and play them at night cause it helps you sleep
() You believe that the EVO Universe is actually going to be the future. So...
() You travel back in time to tell Nostradamus about the upcoming UE-Voinian war (The Second Wave? ).
() You move to the Cayman Islands so you don't have to pay unnecessary funds toward NASA's stupid plans of colonizing Mars (It won't be settled by 2150 anyway).
() You pressure the UN to attack dissident countries (like Cuba) and conquer them in hopes of forming a true planet-wide government.
() You sell your shares in that ski resort in the Swiss Alps, secure in the knowledge that Kirrim Prime will a much better investment.
() You become the bodyguard of Admiral McPherson's ancestors just incase the Voinians travel back through time to kill them ŕ la the Terminator series.
() When your car crashes your first impulse is to press -E.
() When someone says BMW the first thing to come to your mind is the Battle of the Milky Way.
() You wish humans would split into Rebels and Confeds so you can get a cloaking device.
() If anyone invites you to a party you can barely resist pressing M for directions.
() Your first question to the car dealer is, "How many turrets can this thing take?"
() When a cop starts to chase you down you say, "Damn! I forgot to register!"
() You try to open your Chemistry book in Mission Control to edit out some work you don't want to do.
() When you see a forklift you warn everybody not to touch and attempt to evacuate the area.
() When the teacher asks how do Buddhists attain Karma, you say from the moderators.
() When someone talks about something that has not been talked about for a long time you say it is a dead topic.
() When you can come up with 3 freakin' pages of reasons why you're an EVO fanatic.
() Your favorite song is the EVO startup theme.
() You name your car "The Nadir"
() You want to marry Anna B.
() You want to find the human "elders"
() Your'e on the webboard when you should be celebrating the millenuim.
() You can recite the names of all the Azdgari planets.
() You file your teeth down and paint your car green deliberately, and not one Zidagar makes an attempt at your life.
() You curse at bad cable service for not providing UEN.
() You call your girlfriend Katherine Baxter.
() you have a the following taking up most of your mere 6 gigs on your iBook: EV/EVO startup themes, 'Love My Macintosh' (Playing in repeat right now), Numerous graphic files from Override and related plugs.
() Your desktop picture is Override startup screen. (this gets confusing...F7 is my Override hot key, and i can never tell if I pressed it or not)
() You save up to get an Arada as your first car.
() You write multiple English papers about Override. (PS, I got A+ on them! Hooray!)
() You search endlessly to find FH Novel in eBook format to read on calculator during class.
() You were ecstatic when, for school, you read 'The Odyssey' and saw the word 'Ambrosia'
() You own 4 or more Macs
() You play EV/EVO on multiple computers at once.
() Your keyboard is getting worn down on arrow keys, fn,control,option,comand,space
() You constantly tell your friends and famil about your great battles.
() When watching the Simpsons, you expect Moe to give Homer a mission.
() During French class, you ask the teacher if he is Rigellian or Zidigar.
() You know your an EV/EVO fanatic (or at least used to be) when you've worn actual small holes into the buttons that are your directional controls.
() You get hit by a car, and first on the hospital you realize you're in the **** because you cant go back the your saved game
() You wonder why astronomers are worried about comets and asteroids hitting the planet when the real threats are the Voinians and the Renegades.
() Whenever you see a banana you have the strangest urge to pull out your phased beam and blast it to bits.
() You spend hours outside at night looking through a pair of binoculars waiting to see UE fighters fly overhead.
() You name your kid after a planet or character from EVO.
() You search around all the used parts stores looking for an afterburner and escape pod for your car.
() Whenever you see an abandoned car in the ditch on the highway, you pull your car right over beside it and search through it for credits, cargo, and then tell whoever is in the passenger seat of your car to hotwire the abandoned car and "add it to your fleet."
() While doing (Ed. the previous one) you keep muttering to yourself, "gee, I hope I don't set off the self destruct on this thing..."
() When you read a section of the Iliad where Hektor kicks Greek rear end you think, "Man, those Greeks should've registered!"
() When writing a report about the EU you constantly type UE instead. Not too funny, but it happened to me many times
() When you accidentally run into Andrew Welch you throw him to the floor and start stomping on him to get that 188,000 credits.
() You learn French, German, and Spanish to be understood offworld
() You have a shrine to Martin Turner by your computer (shut up.)
() Arriving in Paris, you start to search for the Bistro Marie Therese, Rigellian Secret Police, and Doctor S (spoooky)
() To your French teacher, you utter, "Mort aux Magellans!"
() You check to see if you're 80% genetically pure
() You name your dog Jasta and your cat Hela
() You don't dare to visit petshops since you are afraid that the parrats will steal some of your money.
() You got rid of the parrot-phobia when you registred.
() You belive Hektor is a female name.
() You buy a book about EVOlution and think its a hint book.
() You actually think its possible to reach another planet-system in one jump.
() You didn't saw any of the goals in the Sweden-USA hockey game yesterday since you were to busy destroying the rock. (true, at least for me)
() You enter a drugstore and ask what the charge for a ton of medical supplies.
(/list=a)

I guess I am an EVO fanatic......

Very good job Patriot and everyone who contributed to all those 253 things

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You have been overriden by Overrider. Prepare to die evil scum! -Me
(url="http://"http://www.gameranger.com")GameRanger--Sß-Overrider720(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.boardgame.f2s.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard//ikonboard.cgi")BoardGame(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.magleague.com")MaG League- Overrider(/url)
The Underdogs Smiles:(url="http://"http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm")Underdog Smiles(/url)
The games of Ambrosia that have died: (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum7/HTML/000641.html#")Ferazel's Wand: The Magic is gone(/url) (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum3/HTML/000749.html#")Ares: The Last battle(/url)

Wasn't something like this already posted before here on the Chronicles?

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(url="http://"http://www.redrival.com/gs/gscreation.htm")GS Creation(/url)
(url="http://"http://www.redrival.com/gs/")The Masterful Work of Jake101(/url)
(url="http://"http://pub80.ezboard.com/bbluecutnetunderground") Bluecut Net Underground (/url)

Pretty cool, though I must admit I could only be botherd to read up to about 74. Nice idea though.

---Burning cow---

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Quote

Originally posted by Jake101:
**Wasn't something like this already posted before here on the Chronicles?
**

you might be thinking about Ares for EVO

------------------
You have been overriden by Overrider. Prepare to die evil scum! -Me
(url="http://"http://www.gameranger.com")GameRanger--Sß-Overrider720(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.boardgame.f2s.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard//ikonboard.cgi")BoardGame(/url) | (url="http://"http://www.magleague.com")MaG League- Overrider(/url)
The Underdogs Smiles:(url="http://"http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/gallery.htm")Underdog Smiles(/url)
The games of Ambrosia that have died: (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum7/HTML/000641.html#")Ferazel's Wand: The Magic is gone(/url) (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/webboard/Forum3/HTML/000749.html#")Ares: The Last battle(/url)

232, you post to every single EV-related board!

------------------
--mikeeJ
"And on some have compassion, making a distinction; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh."

1. You suspect that the US Navy is the puppet master behind Escape Velocity games in recruiting more people because suddenly you're obsessed with frigates, destroyers, carriers, etc.

2. You put the theme song "In the Navy!" from the Village People as a intro startup of your EV games. (It's a US Navy brainwash subliminal message recruitment campaign hehe.)

3.If you buy a Ford pick-up, you expect the car dealer to ask you to "Please name your new Lansing, Michigan Ford Factory American-class 2002 Ford F-150 SE 4x4 Quad-cab Full-Size Pick-up truck."

4.In astronomy class, you argue with your science teacher that only Earth, Luna, and Mars exist in the solar system because 4 is the maximum number of stellar objects a system can only have.

5.You buy a CB 2-way radio so when you're on the road, you can talk to truck drivers. "Last time I was in Phoenix, Arizona, the price of metal had risen. "Last time I was in Springfield, Illinois, the price of luxury items dropped."

6. If your parents told you to go wash the car, take out the trash, or other chores, your only response was "Roger" "Roger that" "I'm on it" "Affirmative".

7.You take an interstate highway to get to a destination rather than a route in hopes of avoiding renegades.

8. With lots of speed tickets and other traffic violations, you self-destruct your car so you think that your records could be clear and you'd be clean slate.

9. For road trips, you attach 2 extra fuel tanks.

10. When you turn on your TV, all you see is the UEN news display.

11. Because of the yëar resource function, you still look the same after 50 years of hyper-jumping.

12. Upon serving in the US Navy, you tell your commanders that you want to resign and buy yourself a shuttle.

13. For X-mas, instead of an F-14, or a corvette model kit, you ask for a New Taranto class UE cruiser model kit.

14. To drive a car, you replace the steering wheel with a keyboard to perform the same function.

15. You name your newborn, Rick Hardslab.

16. You attempt to car-jack but the car explodes on self destruction.

17. Your trespassing sign on your front lawn says "You have entered my territory, humans beware!"

18. You travel to Russia in hopes of finding Anna Balashova to build a ship for you.

19. You raid an ambulance, steel the medical supplies and deliver it to a nearby hospital expecting to get paid for each items.

20. In American History, you ask the teacher if the Confederates used cruisers and stuff.

These are some I am contributing.
Hope you like them as much I did with yours.

Coraxus prefectural@yahoo.com