Meanwhile, the blue anthrax that mysteriously turned itself into a giant fork decides that being a fork is boring and messy. So, in the middle of a family's lunch, the fork disintegrates into anthrax, which tips its hat and walks out the front door followed by a bored sofa.
The sofa decides it wants to sit on a throne as ruler of the universe. And thus its plan unfolds...
Before it can do that though Ekip sits on it, reminding it that it is only a sofa and therefore it ceases to be consciuos. 
the MDT navy is enraged by von c/herringburgh's un ended life.
they go to the blue anthrax and give it a propisition: to turn it into turquoise anthrax!
(waiting for someone to decide for the anthrax)
they also offer to make the sofa into a turquoise sofa, as soon as it regains conciousness.
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Against all probability the sofa suddenly metamorphosizes into a large yam. So the MDT navy turns it into a turqoise yam, plants it, and solves the problem of famine in the universe 
Hey, this is Turd again.
Guess What! You lame asses have nothin' better to do?
Here's a story for ya.
there once was a bunch of geeks poundin' their pud.
Ha, good story huh?
Loser!
Salute
Turd
u know turd that name suits u since you act like one 
Pike walks in and flushes the turd down the toilet and he is never seen again (so there :p).
The Tyam (Turquoise yam) decides that he has fullfilled his destiny and returns to a couch form where he tries to end world leg cramps by letting them sit on him...
Suddenly, the time hole opens yet again to reveil another old friend... Bill Gates!!! He quickly searches the universe and finds his current self, a small bubble floating through the universe. He transforms himself back into a human and the two Bill's (past and present) plot like never before...
Will the couch end world leg cramps? Will the Bill Gates' take over the universe? Will turd clog the toilet? Find out next time on TaS 2 echoechoecho
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Feel the Jive
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I'm not as think
as you stupid I am.
"If it weren't for my horse
I wouldn't have spent that year in college"
-Lewis Black
(url="http://"http://www.secretchimpboard.cjb.net/")--<<(Secret Chimp's Alternative Web Board)>>--(/url)
The only web board with a monkey on a motorcycle.
(url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/cgi-bin/ubb/newsdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=20&forum;=*EV/EVO+chronicles&DaysPrune;=25&article;=000036&startpoint;=")Captain's Journal: Pike (Part 1)(/url)
(url="http://"http://pages.about.com/Jive320")Ä„===< Feel the Jive >===!(/url)
(url="http://"http://boards.gamers.com/messages/overview.asp?name=jivesboard")Ä„===/Jive's Webboard for the Damned===!(/url)
Visit, Post, Enjoy.
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Suddenly, the evil Admiral Somori uses the remote powers of anti-logic to transport him to the Milky Way galexy. Since he was not there, he must therefore be there.
However, waiting to meet him was...
(make this wacky plz)
...The crew of the starship voyeger. Admiral somory was sucked up by the bussard ram scoops, as well as the illogic that surrounded him. "What the **** was that?!?!" Yelled captin Janeway. The bridge had turned a bright shade of pink and severel full sized narwhales took up an 1/9999999 of the bridge space, even though the bridge was the size of a quark. "It apears that a giant cucmber was sucked in to the bussard scoop intake." Said Tuvok. "It has now turned into a man who is currently a flamingo and a insect and a" BOOM!!!!!!!! Tuvoc's head explodes with all the illogicnes of what he's saying. The bridge is showered with puise tinted orange blood.
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U.E. Lovers Are Ignorant Of True Power.
Hiding in secret, deep underground the surface of Peregrin, a new device that may change the face of the universe forever has just been painted...
...The 73rd dimension scientists have finally unveiled the newest mostest powerfulest weapon ever designed-the combination beefcake launcher/cheesy-poof shooter/lemon juicer! The only problem is finding someone with the skills to shoot it. A scientist named Eric decides to sacrifice himself (temporarily using the powers of the 666th dimension) to resurrect none other than Eric Cartman from South Park. The other scientists are worried that Cartman will consume all of the beefcakes and cheesy-poofs before the weapon is to be used, but Cartman proclaims his control over the gun with just a few words: "You will respect maa authoritaaaaaayyyyy!" What will this weapon have in store for the forces of evil? Will Cartman eat all of the beefcakes and cheesy-poofs? Does the lemon juicer even work?
(Btw, I had craploads of fun on my vacation, thank you for asking.)
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"U.E.S. Iron Fist, request permission to dock."
"Permission denied."
"Up yours, Voinian scum!"
(This message has been edited by Iron Fist (edited 08-08-2000).)
Quote
Originally posted by Iron Fist:
**(Btw, I had craploads of fun on my vacation, thank you for asking.)
**
Welcome 
As Ubermann finally sells the designs for the donut hole launcher to D.A.R.K. for 10 mill. He happily speeds away toward Newfoundland to buy more weapons. While he is in flight though, he sees a very odd sight. He notices that there is another ship flying next to the Cuisine. But it looked EXACTLY like the Cuisine. Ubermann was suprised and he jumped away from the viewscreen in shock. Could it be another ship sent out by Foodtopia? He had destroyed the Merlot so what could this be? As he hailed the ship, he wondered who would answer. A man came up on the viewscreen that..looked..exactly like...Ubermann! He introduced himself as Nnamrebu but said that most people call him Bob. Bob was Ubermann's exact opposite. He had the exact same ship and weapons as Ubermann. Bob then sped off into space.
Where did Bob come from?
What will Ubermann do now?
How many more questions can I think of?
Answer these questions and more on the next episode of TaS 2!
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Oh no! It's locked!-Harry
Damn it Pam, stop glowing-Harry
Eat staples electro-breath-Harry
Some people need to wash their gene pool
A.S.S Cuisine reporting for duty!
Suddenly the A.S.S. cusine commanded by Ubermann and the E.N.I. sucssa commanded by Nnamrebu get into an intersteller accident. And since when an object collides with an exact opposit of itself both explode. So thats what the two ships did. But just before the collision both capitins got into their escape pods and escaped the explosion. But they are on a collision course with each other! Meanwhile...
A UMTH(Ultra Mega Turquoise hole) has started heading for earth.
What will happen next?
Will the capitins blow up each other?
What has happend to all the blue and turquoise stuff?
What will Voyeger do without their secuity officer?
Will the UMT hole suck up Earth?
Tune in next time to the TaS2 thred for the exciting contiuation of this story!
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U.E. Lovers Are Ignorant Of True Power.
Suddenly voyager blows up. However the admiral saves himself by using non-logic to survive. He was blown into bits, therefore he is in one piece. Kind of weird huh.
Meanwhile, some prune-throwing gnomes come along, and attempt to stop Cartman from using the beefcake gun (BCG from now on). They throw prunes at him but he simply eats them. However the prunes gave him not only indigestion but extreme gas, so he farted fire at them until they went away.
The gnomes decide to copy the BCG except to make it use prunes, so as to give everyone gas. Then they alone will sell the cure and make $10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (Ten octilion) dollars.
Will the gnomes succeed in their plan to give everyone gas?
Will Cartman get ****ed off and kill Kenny in anger?
Will we ever stop asking these stupid questions?
Find out on the next episode of TaS!!
Brought to you by Kenturin Shipyards, we make the finest destroyers ever to spontaneously explode.
(This message has been edited by Jude (edited 10-05-2000).)
But suddely voyeger crash lands on the Vogon homeword, squshing cartman. The reason that its not blown up is that when the admial was blown up some of his non-logic field blew out and hit some parts of voyeger. Unfortunetly(or is it fortunitly?) cartman still had some mega gas in him so he blew up the Vogon home world, making voyeger un-crash landed. So it keeps on heading towards Earth. Little did they know that the borg had started their big offinsive.
Meanwhile...
The UMT hole kept heading towards Earth.
Will voyeger make it home fast enough to defend Earth?
Will the Borg make it to earth before the UMT hole?
Will people ever stop asking questions at the end of their posts?
You might just find out in the next episode oooffff TaS2!!!
Of course the borg ship, being preocupied with finding out what hapened to voyager, flew straight into the Mega turqoise hole (or whatever) that was sitting by earth. Making all of us happy
Now that the admiral is dead, and non-logic gained a foothold on the 4th dimension, theres no way to control that non-logic. So suddenly, Deimos (one of Mars' moons) turns into a large banana fruitcake, arming the A.S.S. Cuisine and the E.N.I. Siucssa for many years to come.
After the Vogon Planet Incident (henceforth known as the VPI), Cartman got pissed and killed Kenny. In the process of killing Kenny, Cartman had an epiphany - the scientists could build grapefruit cannons! "Kick @$$!" exclaimed Cartman as he used the powers of non-logic to go back to Peregrin. As he explained his wonderful plan to the wise guys, a small piece of Vogon poetry slipped out of his pocket, thus poisoning the 73rd dimension. The new plague causes extreme boredom and sleepiness!
What will this conflagration have in store for the 73rd dimension?
Will the grapefruit cannon become a reality?
Will we ever stop these damned end-of-post questions?
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"U.E.S. Iron Fist, request permission to dock."
"Permission denied."
"Up yours, Voinian scum!"
SUDDENLY! THE MDT NAVY IS BACK!
yes, after many weeks (days, whatever) in the shade, watching the universe go by, they finally come out of their dark hiding place.
the robin of rebirth comes forth from its nest, followed by its 14 children, to repair and rebuild the vogon homeworld.
however, the 73rd dimension is in trouble, the MDT navy dispatches 100 of its most experienced holes to the 73rd dimension to cure the evil plauge.
meanwhile, the other 250 turquoise holes make sure that the vogons, once their planet is rebuilt, wont make anymore poetry to poison the universe.
finally, the UMTH sucks up the borg cube in exactly .000000000000001 seconds.
btw, i dont have any question for some reason, heh, sorry
err, wait a second! i have a question: how do we make signatures?
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Go up to the profiles option at the top of the page and open it. You can change anything about you there.
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U.E. Lovers Are Ignorant Of True Power.
In the peace of the lavatory a lone ballerina, graceful, beautiful, and mute dances the night away. Flowers grow in her path and vines on the wall. The ships noises become as mute as she; the lavatory is no more. What once was a cesspool has become a bastion of life and creation, a gleaming light if you will, a gleaming light for peace and prosperity. Maybe the soldiers can go home, the admirals can play with their children, the rabbits can wear glasses, the cabbage no longer fears the scythe of the farmer. The respect of one for another is fomented in this quiet peace.
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Suddenly the untamed energies of the 666th dimension cause 17 of the MDT holes to spontaneously turn into giant pieces of ham. 2 of the pieces of ham landed on the home planet of the prune-throwing gnomes.
Now because the gnomes violently disliked and abhored any food other than prunes, they burned them and went on a bloody crusade that ended with them being defeated some hours later by a bout of sneezing and an epidemic of lethargy.
However, this did succeed in making their species into a cult, believing in the honor and dignity of the All-Knowing Prune.
Then that broke down after 5 minutes, and they decided to just try to give everyone gas again.
As the Prune vanished into a foggy mist, Halker steps into the long corridor.
"Halt!", shouts the autonomous robot.
"Relax, I'm just looking for Fhadrua."
The short person of the Zigbuv race walks for what seem to be a mile until he reaches a door. Halker opens the door and finds a closet. Suddenly, the wall opposite him starts to warp from a metallic form into...
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