The Voinian Ambassador returns, his souped-up Supply Ship packed to the gunnels with dehydrated monkies.

looks around approvingly

Hmm, it's nice to see that despite an incursion by the Itchy-whatsit Mansion's freakier types, the Steel Bar is just as I remember it. Anyway, sorry I had to dash off. I've been to Kitrak. Very nice it was too, if a little cold.

dumps a sack on the bar

And I brought back some ice! Now, if we could just have a little highland hospitality to go with the H2O, Barkeep...?

Cut to the master's cabin, aboard the Voinian Supply Ship "Now Who's Laughing?"...
A discarded cigar smoulders quietly in an ashtray.
The smoke is detected by the fire suppression system.
The sprinklers are activated.
Water runs down the corridors of the ship, into the hold...
To be continued.

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(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)

throws the unregistered whatshisname out the airlock, and gives out free drinks to anyone that wants it. The bartender looks outside, and notices monkey sounds coming from Voinian Ambassador's ship... probably jess and corey gettin it on ')

------------------
"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
------------------------
"....This is only what I think. We can't in a million years guess what goes on in the snarling, churning bowels of Red's head."
~ESPilot

A holographic projection of Shrout1 appears in one of the barstools. "What's up VonianAmbassador! Nice to see you back! How was your little vacation there? Oh, I'm projecting myself from Bakoom Bar, a place you should see - just watch out for the unregistered perverts, they seem to run rampant. Anyway, good to see ya back"

------------------
And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™

Yeah... I only trust registered perverts.

Bakoom? I'm not finished with this fine bar yet. It is written in the Articles of War that a bar is not really complete until somebody has mentioned a new use for celery, done something unspeakable to a primate, ordered a drink that they wouldn't even give to a five week dead camel, and inadvertently insulted a moderator.

Oh, I seem to have left my supply of anti-dandruff bar snacks aboard the Supply Ship. Would you excuse me?

Sounds of receeding Voinian footsteps...
The 'bleep bleep' of a starship's remote locking system.
Hiss of a hatch opening.
The muffled 'Gaagh!' sound of an alien diplomat being buried under an avalance of small furry creatures.

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(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)

Anyone have any water for those de-hydrated monkies? What else do you have on there VonianAmbassador? Got any tribbles?

------------------
And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™

Hey, hey, we're the monkeys!
Forget the water; we'll have bourbon sours instead.

Relax. I'm a professional in the Monkey Business. Just don't let them know you're serving banana splits...

All I need to do is dismount my monkey-seeking missile system (using a monkey wrench, of course), and point it inwards. Should have this mess cleared up within minutes. We'll be dining on real monkey-chunk ice-cream by sundown.

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(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)

REDchigh hands the monkeys their bourbon sours, then swallows so much Everclear he passes out cold.

------------------
"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
------------------------
"....This is only what I think. We can't in a million years guess what goes on in the snarling, churning bowels of Red's head."
~ESPilot

Shrout1's holograph sits in the bar, sipping on a brandy. REDCHIGH is unconcious on the floor, VonianAmbassador is in his Vonian supply ship, dealing with the monkies - no one else is present. Meanwhile there are huge amounts of dehydrated monkey powder on the floor. Shrout1 watches as one of the two hydrated "monkees" walks over to a large water pipe, pointlessly portruding from the wall, and knocks it open. Immediately huge numbers of monkies burst forth from the powder, completely filling the bar, except behind the counter where Red is unconcious. Shrout1's holograph is lost in a sea of monkies.

------------------
And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™

<--- drinks Saalian Brandy and laments the fact that the past can never be changed, the future is uncertain and all one has is this fleeting moment of limited human perception. God is dead, the universe is benignly indifferent to one's well-being, and we are each trapped within the confines of our own personal subjectivity. We are alienated by our finite perspectives, we are easily forgotten once we die, and no comfort exists for us after death for there is no knowledge of anything in the grave. We only live once, so seize the day and be true to yourself! Be authentic: become the author of your own ideal! Bring forth the übermensch! Thus spake Zarathustra.

Did someone slip Substance E into my Saalian Brandy?

A freight-courier in the livery of Megapost, Inc. arrives in the parking lot, and the pilot comes into the bar.

"Hey guys. Did somebody order an infinite number of typewriters?"

------------------
(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)

Quote

Originally Posted By SexyStripperBoy:
laments the fact that the past can never be changed....

Neither can your post! Register! You get some nice extra features and you don't just have to hang in EVO/EV

Quote

Originally posted by VonianAmbassador:
Hey guys. Did somebody order an infinite number of typewriters?"

Oh yeah, just put em' in that corner over there, thanks .

------------------
And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™

Come visit the (url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/intro.lasso")Nova6 Webboards(/url).

Get with the programme, barkeep... these dehydrated monkies are thirsty!

The Voinian Ambassador tries to organise a monkey-strangling contest. Marks will be awarded for compulsory exercises (the gouge, throttle and windpipe crush), plus style and artistic interpretation.

------------------
(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)

Shrout1's hologram flickers for a moment, but then returns. "Wow, I just went 1000 years into the future and now I'm back. That was a rush!" Shrout1 crushes some monkies. If you want an explanation for what I've said, just go to the other bars.

------------------
And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™

Come visit the (url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/intro.lasso")Nova6 Webboards(/url).

Quote

Originally posted by Shrout1:
**...If you want an explanation for what I've said, just go to the other bars.
**

There are other bars? Whoah!

Well, it's time I was off doing Ambassadorial things. Not that I don't enjoy strangling monkies, of course.

I'll just have one for the spacelanes, I think. Barkeep! Saalian Sizzlers all round.

-------

Saalian Sizzler (just invented):

2 parts Saalian Brandy
1 part monkey sweat (might as well use locally abundant materials)
2 parts melonade
3 parts dehydrated water
2 part afterburner fuel
1 cherry (lost)
2 pineapples (or hand grenades, to taste)

add a sprinkling of nuts (Shrout, RedChigh, me, etc.)
light, and serve
run!

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(url="http://"http://www.geocities.com/evodude2001/home.html")Old & Unimproved: Cerberus Station!(/url)

Gotta love that Saalian Sizzler! Well, I guess I give up on Steel Bar too. My hologram stares at the neatly polished mudshark teeth tables, all the comfy chairs and the piles of monkey dust, pushed into the corner by the robo-janitor. I stare down the brilliantly gleaming surface of the highly polished steel bar, wondering how many more bacteria are just wating to pop to life at the next highly radioactive drink. I look over to Redchigh. "Well, it's been fun. Nice to have this this bar all to ourselves for a while. I came from a newbie to a regular here. I guess it will not be forgotten in my mind. Goodbye Red, nice getting to know you." I take one more drink from the glass in my holographic hand and disappear.

------------------
And so Shrout1 finally arrived
And there was Excessive Cheating™

Come visit the (url="http://"http://nova6.pautsch.com/forum/intro.lasso")Nova6 Webboards(/url).

A Monkey tries to make a saalian sizzler, and accidentally drops it behind the bar. The flame spreads quickly, and Red wakes up screaming. He pickes up several monkeys by the neck, and swats them at the fire, until it's finally batted out. REDchigh makes the drink properly, and hands around the glasses, and pulls out a Bullhorn.

"I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON THIS BAR!!!"

------------------
"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
------------------------
"....This is only what I think. We can't in a million years guess what goes on in the snarling, churning bowels of Red's head."
~ESPilot

OV flips backwards out of his chair. "You don't need to be so loud about it" he calmly explains

------------------
You have been overriden by Overrider. Prepare to die evil scum! -Me
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Free drinks, all around...

hands OV a saalian sizzler

------------------
"I- I Swear Officer.. The Dwarf was on fire when I got here!"
------------------------
"....This is only what I think. We can't in a million years guess what goes on in the snarling, churning bowels of Red's head."
~ESPilot

I'd like the wine list, please.

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