I've done some thinking, and I've come up with this topic. You post an interesting, intriguing, phoenominal, outrageous, or far-fetched story about your EVO gameplay. The best part is... it doesn't have to be the slightest bit true. It could be a flat out lie. You could tell a true story about how you destroyed the Voinian Dreadnaught with a shuttle alone, or you could tell the story about how you got blown up inside The Rock after a resident hippie accidently left a burning doobie on the fas cans. I don't care what you write. Just make it good. Or funny. Or unbelievable. Or a lie.
I'll get the ball rolling with a story of my own that I just recently experianced. You won't believe me, but I assure you... IT'S ABSOLUTLY TRUE!!!

It started innocently enough when I accepted three Voinian missions to protect a Voinian outpost. So I'm sitting in my ultra-enhanced Lazira with some of my small escorts, and what do I see before me. Nothing much... just three U.E. Cruisers. Not all that bad, but there were also 15 fighters emerging from them, as well as 10 more coming from 2 UE Carriers, and about 10 UE Destroyers. Of course my Voinian buds are too slow to help at all, so I had to take business into my own hands. Before I could do that, however, a stream of about 100 Hunter missles came pooring over me. All the ships were inundating me. DANG! So I did some of the most amazing, yet believable :), manuevers ever. I swung around the asteroids, causing many of the missles to hit a single asteroid. After that I had a revelation. I noticed the weird Crescent Warship in the center of the system (the one that talks about life being insanely great). Now this is the best (yet most believable :)) part of the story. The missles swung around and collided with the Warship, blowing it up. The explosion was huge, destroying one of the heavilly damaged UE Cruisers. This next explosion caused a chain reaction that destroyed every ship in the whole Solar System. I was so excited. I had been the lone survivor of a very believable situation. I landed on the outpost only to find an ecstatic Voinian crowd giving me 100M Credits and the Crescent Council. The Council told me a believable story about how I'd safe the galaxy. All of the sudden, the CD disk slot in my computer opened, and a bunch of Silver Dollars started shooting out. I cried in joy. I am the ultimate writer of true, non-fictional, believable stories.

------------------

Something like that happened to me (there were lotsa UE fellas and I was defending a Voinian outpost) so I saw the Disco Bison in the system, and got him between me and the UE fellas. So they shoot at me and hit him, and he kills them. This worked fine for a while, until he got disabled. So I boarded him, and there was a 2% chance to take over.... and I did it. Now I roam the galaxy in the 'Bison, conquoring planets and Generally Blowing Stuff Up Whenever I Feel Like It. BWAHAHAH.... ahem. hee... hee... Ha!.... BBWWWAAAAHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! ahem sorry about that.

Cas

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some poems rhyme,
and some don't.

Well you see, I had just got my Freight Courier one time and was heading out to Pax to get the mission. All of a sudden the Incontrvertable jumped in. He started blowing up hundreds of Voinians. I yells "Hey! Cut that out!" He turned his ship around and starts shooting hunter missles. I start screaming and I turn my Freight Courier around and zoom away using afterburners. He starts pursuing and I think he had Aggy upgrades 'cause his ship was going so fast. I relised he was trying to ram me so I turned around and zoomed right past him. Now a UE Destroyer has a heck of a lot more Inertia then a little FC so when he tryed to turn around and catch me he didn't do it fast enough and he slammed into the astroid I had been heading to. He started bouncing around the system like a pinball hitting astroid after astroid. He maneged to hit enough astroids in the right places that they squished together real good and made a star. He hit that and I thought that was the end of him. But nooooooooo. He had about 20 layers of Bronov followed by 20 layers of Emalgha. He managed to get out of the star with no bronov left and Emalgha armor on fire. Now, seeing a flaming UE Destroyer going at 500 AUs an hour straight at you while shooting Hunter Missles and Blaze Turrets at you is scary enough to make Shwartzanager pee in his pants. I fliped around real quick and shot all my Hunters at him and managed to break through his armor. A huge explosion followed and after I had gotten out of the hospitel and the Voinians had finished giveing me forty Kilograms of medals I found out that she was filled with hydrogyn. I guess thats how the crew stayed alive for so long.

And that is my story. Every word is true.

------------------
The Person who joins the United Earth Dictatorship knows not true might and he knows not true enlightenment.

My objective is to live forever. So far so good.
Books of the new millennia:Left Behind, Tribulaton Force, Nicolae, Soul Harvest, Apollyon, Assassins, The Indwelling, The Mark.

Okay this is really true and it just happened a little while ago...

I had been working for the Voinians for some time in ROTV and ROTV II. I had decided to buy a Crescent Warship since Voinian technology sucked against the United Earth. It worked pretty well since the hunter missiles and blaze turrets were mostly fixated on armor. So I had just received a mission to defend Sol from the hated UE. I took off from Earth and just as a did about 10 UE Warships (Cruisers included) jumped into the system and immedietly turned red on my scanners. It didn't look good as I soon saw a wall of UE Fighters rush towards me and a HUGE amount of Hunter Missiles race ahead of them straight at me. I did the only thing I could do... I FLED! Jumped right out of the system and never went back

------------------
"What's your password?"
"1,2,3,4,5"
"What?! Thats the kind of password
someone would have on their luggage!"

Once upon a time, Frederik IV decided to do a little test, he turned off his UE Fighters shields as he flew at a Voinian Dreadnaught. He found that he was able to get inside the shields, but the other ships bounced off the shields. He roamed around under them and generally blazsted stuff p. When he hit the engines, the blast knocked him back to 2001 and he was able to tell the humans what would happen in a few centuries. Instead of being unprepared, the United Earth forces were able to ambush the Voinians and pound all their planets back to the stone age.

------------------
A vandal is somebody who throws a brick through a window. An artist is somebody who paints a picture on that window. A great artist is somebody who paints a picture on the window and then throws a brick through it.
A-One (a graffiti artist)

(This message has been edited by Frederik IV (edited 02-04-2001).)

Let's see...this one really happened, and even better really could happen. I was flying towards Council Station, in my trusty Zidara. Suddenly, I noticed the system happened to have several Azdgari Warships flying about. My being Zidagar-aligned, they promply targeted me. They all launched their Azdaras. I decided to make the best of the situation, and demanded tribute from Council Station. They didn't send out a fleet though; after a bit more insisting by me they surrendered without a fight. I guess they thought their space was crowded enough as it was. I quickly landed to evade the mad horde of Azdgari ships, and the rest is history - specifically the history of the new owner of Council Station. (today, I'll order the Zidagar to put on a showing of the Phantom of the Opera for me...)

Say, Frederik IV, that's a good sig, but how can I train myself to be able to hold an extended arm/hand still enough to aim well? Is there some sort of class available? Exercises? (actually, that could help my drawing skills...)

------------------

(This message has been edited by Weepul 884 (edited 11-29-2000).)

I admit...I d/led a cheat plug. That's not the anecdote, though.

After tooling around inside EVO for awhile, I noticed that I could buy ships that had no shipyard picture. Well, I started buying these ships and, after about five or six different ships, I stumbled upon an escape pod. At first, I thought I was screwed. I knew that the escape pods could only go one direction at a certain speed, not stop, and just vanish, leaving the player in a shuttle. I didn't want that to happen. However, upon pushing the "turn" and "accelerate" buttons, I found I could turn, stop, and accelerate quite nicely. Then I went to the outfit center...oh, boy. I was able to somehow equip the escape pod with everything I desired. So, I figured this was enough and roamed the universe in search of an unlikely fight...and soon found it. I ran into some south-tip renegades...and discovered that they couldn't hit me. Period. Then I fired, and found, to my delight, that my shots would hit them. I then proceeded to wander the galaxy in my utterly invincible escape pod until I got thoroughly bored, which was about two days later.

Yep...that's the whole story.

------------------
"I am diagonally parked in a paralell universe"
--Anonymous

Quote

Orignally posted by Weepful 884:
My being Zidagar-aligned

Yess! Finally a fellow Zidagar supporter!

------------------
"What's your password?"
"1,2,3,4,5"
"What?! Thats the kind of password
someone would have on their luggage!"

(quote)Originally posted by Bubaganoosh:
**Yess! Finally a fellow Zidagar supporter!:p

They're the only strand with a decent mentality. Unfortunately, their in-game features are hindered by some stupid mistakes and omissions, such as the unsellable fighter bay or the blatant lack of gun slots on the Zidara (which is supposed to be build for forward-firing weaponry!). The Igadzra are quite cool too, although their attitude towards outsiders is annoying. The Azdgari have some great pieces of technology, but as a people, they're a gang of wimpy pirates and a pest on the face of the galaxy.

-- Cinga

------------------
**

(quote)Originally posted by Idiot_box:
**I admit...I d/led a cheat plug. That's not the anecdote, though.:D ), and even an IFF decoder.

------------------
Visit my EVO web site at **(url="http://"http://www.evoverride.com")http://www.evoverride.com(/url)****!
" Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing."--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I was cruising around the galaxy in my trusty old Igazra Warship when all of the sudden who shows up but Captain Hector. Now i honestly hate this guy, he's worse then the Jehova's Witnesses he always wants to sell me his stuff when I'm having a good time all by myself. Knowing he's a bit agressive lately i decide to run for it when all of the sudden a lame Zidagar jumps into the system. Right on his tale at least a dozen Igadzra's jump in a few seconds later, and destroy the rat within a matter of seconds. Thinking 13 Igadzra's woud make quite a team i hail them - and they off course do not respond. I lure Capt. Hector over to the center of the system when my shields go down - running just on my armor enhancements now. He keeps on firing when he hits the Igadzra group, who were just about ready to start jumping out again. They turn around immediately and start firing at captain hector. His shields start peeling down percent by percent.

When he has lost about a third of his shields one Igadzra goes down. Me, i'm staying at a distance - watching something i'd never seen before. They keep on fighting, and one by one the Igadzra go down. There are 8 left when Captain Hector's shields go down. They keep on fighting and eventually there are only three people left in the system - me, another Igadzra and Captain Hector. I'm wondering who's gonna win this final fight when the Igadzra suddenly goes down - and Hector charges at me again!!! I give it all i've got when suddenly he goes disabled on me... I guess the Igadzra's must have done a pretty good job! And then it happened... i tried to board him and it worked... i tried to take him over and that worked too!! Then i flew over to the Igadzra ships still disabled in the system, boarded 10 of them with 6 succesfull capture attempts and 4 failed. So now I'm flying around as Captain Hector - escorted by 6 of the most powerful vessels in the universe

sarc

------------------

What does the Disco Bison look like?

------------------
What else do you burn than witches?
More witches!
"The Holy Grail", Monty Python

Well, once I was flying along in my Azdara, doing the mission where you go around the Crescent Rim, you know? Well, as I was goin' along, and in jumps the U.E.S. Incontrovertible, comin' for me, turrets blazing. (ha ha, get it? :D). I'm thinking, "Damn it, that damn destroyer is gonna take out the damn Azdaras that I'm supposed to be escorting and I'll fail the damn mission!" Then a Dispy Rocket from a Zidara that was in the system shoots toward me. I dodge the Dispy Rocket, and it hits the Incontrovertible! The rocket didn't even scrath him, but it made him attack the Zidara instead of my Azdaras. I should've jumped out then and there, but I was out of fuel. quick as lightning, I demanded tribute from the Zidagar planet. Out comes the Defence fleet, just as the Inc. mops up the Zidara crumbs. He can't tell one Ziddie from another, and since I was directly aligned with him and the planet, he thought they were coming for him! He attacked the Fighters and began to take them out. I told my Azdys to stay calm. Then i watched as the Inc. took out the whole damn defence fleet lowering him to 50% shields. (boy, those phased beams pack a punch, huh?) Suddenly, in jumped the Elizabeth Reib, and she did not like be it with blaze turrets, even if it wasn't on purpose. The two mighty përs duked it out, and finally the Reibmeister won. I nailed her with a phase blast as soon as the Inc. disabled, and she came after me. she was so weak from fighting the Inc. that I disabled her easily. Then I was left with a dominated planet, two disabled përs' with a LOT of credits, and a safe squadron of Azdaras.

It really did happen!

------------------
Macintosh for productivity, Linux for development, Palm for mobility, and Windows for Solitaire.

Quote

Originally posted by Titan:
**What does the Disco Bison look like?
**

It's an Emalgha warship.

------------------
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." -Mel Brooks

Quote

Originally posted by Cinga:
**Forsooth, likewise do I tend to favor the mighty Zidagar.:p
They're the only strand with a decent mentality. Unfortunately, their in-game features are hindered by some stupid mistakes and omissions, such as the unsellable fighter bay or the blatant lack of gun slots on the Zidara (which is supposed to be build for forward-firing weaponry!). The Igadzra are quite cool too, although their attitude towards outsiders is annoying. ccThe Azdgari have some great pieces of technology, but as a people, they're a gang of wimpy pirates and a pest on the face of the galaxy.
-- Cinga
**

They're the only strand with a decent mentality.

Naah. They're way too melodramatic.

The Igadzra are quite cool too

....except they have you wandering all over the galaxy finding out about Purple River Eels. I hate their campaign.

The Azdgari have some great pieces of technology, but as a people, they're a gang of >wimpy pirates and a pest on the face of the galaxy.

They aren't wimpy when you're flying their ships, trust me. They just use a bad AI for their type of ship. But I guess you're someone who likes the Ziggy type of ships (can be upgraded to be a warship, but are really in the Gunship class; i.e. not so heavy that you just sit there and shoot stuff, but not so light that you have to dodge secondaries), I prefer the Azdgari, because (in my opinion) they have the best campaign, best name, best upgrades, best ships... er... in short, they don't have a downside to me, because I fly fighters, not warships. If it can't dodge an SAE, I don't wanna fly it.

Csa