Guys guys guys, the 20% is only for sted IN the bar. By the way theres a bouncer behind you with a blaze cannon to your neck, so dont try any thhink got it? By the way, the 20% doesent apply to anyone on the freeport council. Proxima Presley etcetera. By the way, 1 million creds to whoever kills hellcat helen. Heres a funny story, i was goin around in a turncoat, mod of course, when i met myself. Myself was in my usual freight/courier and i tried to kill me. So instead i disabled my ship, stole all my credits, nicked my own ship and ran away. True story!

Lothe Lan goes away in upgraded freight courier, flies off into crescent space...

Sign on door: "Buccaneer is in charge till i come back"

------------------
"Are you SURE you cant fit any more rocket launchers on here?" Lothe Lan

"How can i make it go faster?" -my previous incarnation-

"ARRRR GIMMIE ALL YER CREDS YA WEE BASTARDS!!! GET ON THE FLOOR< YOU WITH THE KNIFE! DROP IT!" Bang is heard. More "red paint" "VARMINT." {helcat helen walks in} "HOLD IT THERE!" Bang is heard More "read paint" "BITCH! WERES ME CREDS?? WERES ME CREDS?? GIMMIE ME DAMN REWARD!!" {Steals credits from cash register amounting to 60 million} "HARHAR!!" Knock knock is heard on door. "OH NO, LOTHE AINT COMIN BACK IN HERE!! LOCK THE DOOR SOMEONE" {Door bursts open}...

{Lan gets of ship, gleaming pulse rifle in hand walks tooward bar. Needle Ned walks up to Lan} "Lan! Buccaneer has got the bar, and your money! And he shot helcat" Lothe: "is she dead?" Ned: "No" Lothe: "Damn" {Lothe walks up to bar and kicks in bar door. Commando rolls comes up, fires pulse rifle at buccaneer} More "red paint" Lan: "Theres your reward you bum. Free drinks for the next half second!!!! Too late oh well, one free round for everyone. Whats the orders? Can someone move this guy? Were's the guy that paints the walls every friday he should be here by now.

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"Are you SURE you cant fit any more rocket launchers on here?" Lothe Lan

"How can i make it go faster?" -my previous incarnation-

(Jive and Gorky walk out of turncoat)
(Jive gives back cash register money that was stolen)
"I'm only givin' this back 'cause your so pathetic"
(Jive recklessly shoots some more people in the bar)
"That was just fo' fun"
(Jive and Gorky dissapear in turncoat)
(They fly away to raid some more UE Cruisers)

--------------------
Feel the Jive
--------------------
(Insert cool quote here)

------------------

(Needle Edward walks into bar, grabs barman by shirt and demands all Sallian Brandy in the bar)
(Barman refuses so Edward goes outside to his enhanced azdara and takes out barman's Igazra)
(goes back inside and grabs the brandy)

(Jive walks into bar)
(Jive smashes Needle Edwards skull in with chair)
(Jive steals his Brandy)
(Jive gives some to Gorky)
(They walk into turncoat and raid some freighters)

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
(Insert cool quote here)
------------------

Quote

Originally posted by Jive 320:
**(Jive walks into bar)
(Jive smashes Needle Edwards skull in with chair)
(Jive steals his Brandy)
(Jive gives some to Gorky)
(They walk into turncoat and raid some freighters)
**

(Needle Edward enters bar)
(Needle Edward takes out Jive's Turncoat with three SAE's)
(Steals his brandy and flies away in Azdara)

Quote

Originally posted by Needle Edward:
(Needle Edward enters bar)
(Needle Edward takes out Jive's Turncoat with three SAE's)
(Steals his brandy and flies away in Azdara)

(Jive's escape pod is picked up by a nearby freighter)
(He captures the freighter with no problem)
(Jive returns to the bar)
(Jive sees Needle Ed)
(Jive breaks bottle on table)
(Jive chucks the bottle at Ed)
(Ed staggers around screaming)
(Jive returns to new Turncoat)
(Jive lands on top of bar crushing Ed)
(Ed's remaining torso soon explodes by the impact of Jive's needle missile)
(Jive walks into the bar and pays for the damage with the stolen Ed's credits)
(Jive takes a shot of brandy and leaves)

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
(Insert cool quote here)
------------------

(oedipus enters bar sees jive)
(oedipus gets ****** off at jive fer using a turncoat (they suck major ***))
(oedipus returns to his Igazra (S.S. Oedipus) flies up one mile)
(bar and jive shatter into atoms as 6 SAE modules, along with nuetron fire and rockets (dispy and normal) and finally fireballs from the OEDIPUS's plasma siphon smash into it)
(oedipus flies away laughing)

(This message has been edited by Jude (edited 06-24-2000).)

try that on fer size, Jive

(no hard feelings, just having fun)

(Jive walks out of bar barely alive)
(Jive looks at trashed turncoat and goes into a small Krait)
(Jive flies over to the new UE Cruiser and captures it)
(Jive flies around in strand space until he captures 6 Igazras for escorts)
(Jive flies his fleet over to oedipus)
(Jive launches his UE fighters and azdaras)
(Jive sits back as his 19 ships trash the pitiful Igazra)
(Jive flies over to oedipus's launched escape pod)
(Jive completly demolishes it with turret fire)
(Jive flies over to bar where he gets a shot of brandy)

Take that oedipus!!

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
"My son is not a Communist! He may be a liar, a bum, a Communist, but he is not a porn-star!"
-Abraham Simpson
------------------

(suddenly, 6 V. cruisers come out of cloaking( Oedipus's escorts))
(even more rockets and nuetron fire even further destroy the already disintegrated bar)
(laughing comes from one of the cruisers)
(Its Oedipus!)
((on hail) The Igazra you killed was just a dummy ya dumbf***, lets see how ya solve THIS)
(all 6 ships blast away the inferior crescent ships)
(now theres nothing left of them but atoms)

------------------
Life is evil, live with it

(This message has been edited by Oedipus (edited 06-24-2000).)

Hey, your a member!

(Jive crawls out of the demolished bar)
(His life is hanging by a thread)
(Jive returns to his UE Cruiser (which you forgot to destroy :p))
(He sends his fighters towards 2 of the cruisers while he takes on the rest)
(Jive's superior Cruiser is soon helped by the free Hinwar)
(The Hinwar are majorly pissed at the Voinians)
(The cruisers are soon wiped clean)
(After going to the hospital, Jive returns to bar)
(He pays for all repairs with stolen Oedipus' money)
(Bar is soon operational)
(Hinwar and Jive celebrate with Brandy for all)

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
"My son is not a Communist! He may be a liar, a bum, a Communist, but he is not a porn-star!"
-Abraham Simpson
------------------

yeah, i signed up.

you FOOL, 5 UE fighters canNOT takes on TWO V. cruisers. yer ignoring the fact that UE fighters are horrible! plus yer forgetting the fact that each of the V. cruisers has 4 heavy fighters, and the cruisers are upgraded, so heres how it goes.

(V. cruisers wipe out fighters)
(cruisers and fighters go help fight Hinwar and Jives piece of JUNK)
(Hinwar gets completely demolished by 4 V. cruisers)
(all 6 cruisers then gang up on the one UE cruiser)
(once AGAIN Jives ship is destroyed and desintigrated)
hopefully for the last time

------------------
Life is evil, live with it

I said my fighters would start to work on the cruisers. Of course they were destroyed by the time the Hinwar got there.

By the way, I said ALL of the Hindwar (or at least that's what I meant). They have the same tech as voinians and with some captured cruisers of their own, they demolished your cruisers.

By the way, a UE Cruiser (or at least mine w. dospect, 4 shield generators, every upgrade (speed, thrust, turn, and azdi) 5 blaze turrets, and 3 pursuit launchers and 100 pursuits) can take on 2 or 3 v.cruisers.

Plus your pitiful v. heavy fighters are no match for the fleet of this size.

So there :p.

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
"My son is not a Communist! He may be a liar, a bum, a Communist, but he is not a porn-star!"
-Abraham Simpson
------------------

ahem... Just a question Jive, you said your UE cruiser had all that junk plus an Azdara bay? Thats a lot of room, for a UE cruiser.

{The ASS Touch of Ice, an Adzgari class Warship, along with the
UES Indomitable, a United Earth class Cruiser along with the
ISS Man-o-War, an Igadzra class Destroyer along with the
ZSS Mercutio, a Zidagar class Destroyer, along with
ASS Squadron Pheonix, led by Jack , and the
UES Squadron Revenge, also led by Jack, and the
Dynamic Duo, ZSS Romeo, and ZSS Juliet, piloted by Jack and Jack, fly into the system, for simplicity, label themselves Jack's fleet, and order too many shots of Saalian Brandy}

{Jack says, "put it on my tab"}

------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage" Marvin

"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon

I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class

Quote

Originally posted by Jack:
**ahem... Just a question Jive, you said your UE cruiser had all that junk plus an Azdara bay? Thats a lot of room, for a UE cruiser.

**

No, that was another UE Cruiser ( ;)).

(Jive sees Jack's fleet with multiple Jacks)
(Jive (the kind person he is) gives them a friendly welcome by breaking their skulls in with chairs)
(More "red paint" is spotted across the walls)
(Jive takes a shot of the brandy he loves oh-so-much)

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
"My son is not a Communist! He may be a liar, a bum, a Communist, but he is not a porn-star!"
-Abraham Simpson
------------------

{Fortunatly for Jack, and unfortunatly for Jive, the sheer quantity(and quality) of the Jacks make it impossible to kill them all. So, while Jive is smashing in the heads of the first few Jacks, the smarter ones decide to make a Kingly Strategic Retreat. They pile into there ships, and decide to clone an army of Jacks. They come back, and this time, there bad.
{Jack1, leader of squadron Pheonix, takes his azdara, and flies directly at Jive}
{Jack2, Romeo, phase-beams Jack1, and starts strafing Jive }
{Jack3, Juliet, cries I hateyouIhateyouIhateyou at Jive}
{Jack4, leader of Squadron Revenge, fires his rockets at Jack2, crippling the Zidigar fighter, and opens up both blaze cannons}

{The other Jacks, start warming up the cloning machine}

------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin

"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon

I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class

Quote

Originally posted by Jack:
**{Fortunatly for Jack, and unfortunatly for Jive, the sheer quantity(and quality) of the Jacks make it impossible to kill them all. So, while Jive is smashing in the heads of the first few Jacks, the smarter ones decide to make a Kingly Strategic Retreat. They pile into there ships, and decide to clone an army of Jacks. They come back, and this time, there bad.
{Jack1, leader of squadron Pheonix, takes his azdara, and flies directly at Jive}
{Jack2, Romeo, phase-beams Jack1, and starts strafing Jive }
{Jack3, Juliet, cries I hateyouIhateyouIhateyou at Jive}
{Jack4, leader of Squadron Revenge, fires his rockets at Jack2, crippling the Zidigar fighter, and opens up both blaze cannons}

{The other Jacks, start warming up the cloning machine}

**

(The foolish Jack4 keeps firing his rockets)
(The rockets colide with all ships)
(All ships and cloning machines are destroyed)
(Jack4 is quickly blown away by th new Colorian fighter)
(Jive smiles as the test drive of his cool new fighter is a succes)
(Jive takes a shot of Brandy)

------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
"My son is not a Communist! He may be a liar, a bum, a Communist, but he is not a porn-star!"
-Abraham Simpson
------------------

{Jack's mom and dad say shi*, I told him not to get himself killed}
{Jack's mom and dad make a test tube baby, and enhance it. They call it Jack-Plus}
{Jack-Plus says "I don't need no stinking ships, and gets in a space-suit}
{Jack-Plus spacewalks all the way to freeport where he pulls out a phased-matter blaster}
{Jack-Plus straps a nuclear warhead to his head, and headbutts Jive}
{Only Jack-Plus survives the resulting explosion}
{Jack-Plus asks for a brandy "and make it a double"}
{Jack-Plus drinks the brandy, and reholsters the phased-matter gun}
{Jack-Plus pulls out a bazookoid, and orders a Lamb Vindilu}

I'm going away to Hawaii for a week, so don't kill my character...Please.

If you know Red Dwarf, the TV show, maybe you can finish it. This is for the British.

------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin

"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon

I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class