Here is Part Four: Thunderbolts continued. In this section, more of the tale of the battle between the Nervii and Caesar is told, and the path is paved for a stunning climax.... Enjoy!

Part Four: Thunderbolts

Continued...

Agh! Suspense! Don't do that to us, Andiyar!

I have no complaints, but in the first line where you compare Zeltar swinging his sword to a swinging hammer, I would have turned that into an extended metaphor. But, then again, that's just my style. Another good! Keep 'em comin'!

Also, it looks like Andiyar-fest is kicking off now! I better set up the Rothlin action figure stands. Maybe some 'I kicked Caesar's butt at Belgae!' t-shirts. (/obscure Far Side reference)

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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Muad'Dib

(This message has been edited by Celchu (edited 01-12-2002).)

Don't you think it's too chopped up with all the new paragraphs and point-of-view switching? Also, aren't there too many "And then..." and "Then..." sentences apart from the paragraphs?

Just a suggestion, feel free to ignore.

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The answer to life, the universe, and everything is...42.

Quote

Originally posted by llegolas:
**Don't you think it's too chopped up with all the new paragraphs and point-of-view switching? Also, aren't there too many "And then..." and "Then..." sentences apart from the paragraphs?

Just a suggestion, feel free to ignore.

**

Thanks for the input! However, I did purposely write it in the 'chopped up' style, simply because I had three main characters with a few semi-main characters, and I wished to give 'screentime' to them all in this climatic sequence. I do agree that it is a bit too rushed, but I was working within a strict limit during the construction of this story. If I could have, I would have extended this section (it's already the longest in the entire narrative) but time did not allow. For more info on this, feel free to dig around on the Coldstone board, it's in one of the older topics.

Oh, yes, with the 'And thens'.... you should have seen the first draft

-Andiyar

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"Any good that I may do here, let me do now, for I may not pass this way again"

Quote

Originally posted by llegolas:
**Don't you think it's too chopped up with all the new paragraphs and point-of-view switching? Also, aren't there too many "And then..." and "Then..." sentences apart from the paragraphs?

Just a suggestion, feel free to ignore.

**

Well, I've pretty much given up on andiyar and jumping around, it's always "I only have 40 pages of HTML to work with, dang it!"

Andiyar, drafts? Come on, I use this board for my first drafts. It's really helpful to spot inconsistencies, and such. I mostly write everything as I go, thinking up stuff in the day and jamming it out at the keyboard. I read it through for consistency and run it through the spell-checker once, and that's about it. The rest of the stuff just comes as it chooses.

As long as I'm on the subject, when do you think you will bust out with that 'guide to authors' thing? I have some stuff to recommend for it. Not my procedure, which probably would suck for most, but the things that are going through my mind as I jam out a story.

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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Muad'Dib

BTW, how long does it usually take before Ambrosia posts something?

I submitted a story and its been in for a week and a half now.

Do they post everything submitted?

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The answer to life, the universe, and everything is...42.

llegolas, nearly everything submitted to the Chronicles will eventually be posted, that is unless it is blatantly offensive to a large number of people.

Articles are usually posted in about one and a half months after they are submitted, so you hav esome more waiting to do.

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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Muad'Dib

Thanks

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The answer to life, the universe, and everything is...42.

Quote

Originally posted by Celchu:
**Well, I've pretty much given up on andiyar and jumping around, it's always "I only have 40 pages of HTML to work with, dang it!":)

Andiyar, drafts? Come on, I use this board for my first drafts. It's really helpful to spot inconsistencies, and such. I mostly write everything as I go, thinking up stuff in the day and jamming it out at the keyboard. I read it through for consistency and run it through the spell-checker once, and that's about it. The rest of the stuff just comes as it chooses.

As long as I'm on the subject, when do you think you will bust out with that 'guide to authors' thing? I have some stuff to recommend for it. Not my procedure, which probably would suck for most, but the things that are going through my mind as I jam out a story.

**

OK, first off....it'd be very difficult for me to upload my drafts. As you know Celchu, this story has been finished since late August, all 'paper' drafts I believe are dead, and the 'electronic' version is only final copy. I do have some drafts around (somewhere), but my method is more or less "write it all down now, then fiddle with it until it works. Print, and edit.". There's really not much difference except for semantics, spelling, grammar etc. between one of my first drafts (written in November 2000) to the related section in my final copy (published in August 2001). In fact, the prologue to the story has been in it's exact state since January last year.

And yeah..... I've only got 40 pages, dang it!

As to the guide to fiction... ::looks guiltily at the 1.5page file on his hard drive::..... I'm getting there! I promise! I've almost finished the intro section, and I'm working on it..... it will come, don't you worry! And feel free to send me input, I'll credit it if I use it.

And llegolas, welcome both to the boards and soon, to the Chronicles board. As Celchu said, it'll take a while (this story was posted in later November, I believe) but we'll soon see your story online, and I'll make sure I read it!

Stay tuned, everyone, for the remaining three weeks of AndiyarFest!

-Andiyar

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"Any good that I may do here, let me do now, for I may not pass this way again"