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mikeeJ | Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy | zergess@yahoo.com
"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." - Tacitus
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After jimmy set his squat team around the bar Athena, who was still in shock from the explosion, suddenly collapsed on the floor. As she was lying there unconcious no one truly took any notice of her. So after severaly hours of lying on the floor Athena woke up from the sound of space ships blasting out of the area. She quickly got up, a little startled, and casually walked over to the bar and asked jimmy for her free earth Coor's beer.
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No one gets what they wish for,
They get what they work for. -
here's your beer...slides it down the railing making it stop right in front of athena.
so tell me...what planet are you from?
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
walks in from about 2 years of exile with an expression of being about to speak...
"umm..."
*walks out in confusion"
walks back in with an expression of being about to speak
"...uhh..."
walks out with an expression of having lost the words he was about to speak
walks back in a third time with an expression of being about to speak...yet again
"...uhh...hi?"
walks out in confusion
a bottle of Pangalactic Gargleblaster with date 927 B.C. stamped on it rolls into the bar
(heard from background) " ...hic... "------------------
Your Horoscope for Today (Wierd Al):
Gemini
Your birthday will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest -
one of the audomen guards outside gets bored and shoots peimur in the foot a couple times with his laser gun.
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
what emanates from Piemur1's mouth makes everyone in even cicion's bar wince
glasses shatter
cows moo
wierd al thinks up a new song
ships lose integrity
the gun that shot Piemur1 fires many more times
the noise stops------------------
"Live by the sword...live a good long time!"
-Minsk from Baldur's Gate II
"Live by the blaster...live a good long time"
-Piemur1's version of Minsk's quote from Baldur's Gate II -
A wickedly bright flash suddenly occurs in the corner of Page's bar and DF appears looking kinda gold.
"Greetings again. The old dead topic has been reanimated but right now I use Taeskor's bar. Good to see that there is another place to go should I need it" DF said right before another bright flash swallowed him up------------------
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes. -
Wierd Al sudenly materialises in the bar, and starts singing It's all about the Pentiums, baby. He manages to reach the first refrain before everyone in the bar simultaneously shoots him. Wierd Al coats the wall.
silence
silence
Karrde: I think that the decor in this place doesnt look too cheery anymore...bartender, how about a stiff double Romulan Ale?
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This Vid is a bit like my beast; extremely long, and best enjoyed with a mouthful of nuts.
-Ali G. -
sorry sir, we only serve old school earthling alcohol here..
Gets a sponge and starts cleaning up the wall
damn this place is a dump, i gotta do some spring cleaning...
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
thanks to the recent visitors this bar has accumulated enough money to possibly buy something new! wow...what should i buy?
Maybe a couple of guns would be nice because there has been an infestation of mice in here. there's even been a sighting of a 10 ft tall rat roaming around outside this bar lately...I've noticed a couple of my audomen guards have been disapearing...hmmm
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
walks into the bar shaking his head
looks up in surprise as to where he went
"oh! the budget bar! alright!"
goes up to Page, still cleaning Weird Al off the wall, complicated by matters of holes in the wall
Piemur1: "how much for an "x" drink?"
Jimmy Page: "1 million scintak"
Piemur1: "drat! oh look! a bullet hole! ill give this to you!"
Jimmy Page: "Cool! ill take it! here you go!"
gives Piemur1 a glass of old terran beer, very old...
Piemur1 spills it on the floor by accident, evidently already drunk
the beer makes a bottomless pit
Jimmy Page: "how can you give it to me? how do i take it?"
Piemur1: "uhh, you have to get it with a crowbar...ill go get it for you"
Piemur1 goes to the back unsteadily and encounters a very large rat...
Piemur1: "hi!"
V-L-Rat: " squeak..."
Piemur1: "oh yeah, i need a universal translater, you must not be from around here, aren't you?"
V-L-Rat: " squeak! squeak! squeak! " (roughly translated (childred! dinner is served!))------------------
"Live by the sword...live a good long time!"
-Minsk from Baldur's Gate II
"Live by the blaster...live a good long time"
-Piemur1's version of Minsk's quote from Baldur's Gate II -
jimmy page runs out and nails the rat with a rail gun, it hits the rat and bounces off. Jimmy page then runs back into the bar and locks the door
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
Athena, with a curious look to her face, walks over towards Jimmy and simply asks, "Umm... Jimmy? Umm... why don't you just hire an exterminator? It might be easier than shooting rats the whole time. Or since you have ten foot rats why not just get a group of marines?"
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No one gets what they wish for,
They get what they work for. -
walks back from the storage room, battered and wearing torn clothing
Piemur1: "no need...i already got rid of them..."
Jimmy: "how?"
Piemur1: "I started singing Wierd Al's "Trigger Happy" and got through the whole thing 3 times before they ran out...oh by the way, i told them that weird al got shot in cicion's bar, and they wont be tortured anymore..."
grins evilly
for a second before flopping over and begins to moan :redface:
Piemur1 (weakly): "But that didn't stop them from beating the crap out of me first..."------------------
"Live by the sword...live a good long time!"
-Minsk from Baldur's Gate II
"Live by the blaster...live a good long time"
-Piemur1's version of Minsk's quote from Baldur's Gate II(This message has been edited by Piemur1 (edited 05-01-2001).)
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Happily forgetting the last few posts, Karrde starts singing...
_Trigger happy, trigger happy everyday (happy every day)
comeon and grab your ammo,
what have you got to lose?
we'll get all liquored up,
and shoot at anything that mooo-hooves!Gotta brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight! (shoot to kill now!(repeat))
oh I hope someone tries to break in heeehere tonight! (shoot to kill now(repeat))
I always keep a magnum in my trunk, you'd better ask yourself,
do you feel lucky punk?(i)the rats appear...
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(i)This Vid is a bit like my beast; extremely long, and best enjoyed with a mouthful of nuts._
-Ali G. -
This bar seems to have more visitors then the new bar cicion put up to replace the old one i blew up. yay! free drinks for all!
jimmy page kicks the jukebox and it starts playing loud music which drowns out talons horrid singing
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
piemur1 orders a dr. pepper
Jimmy: "sorry, we only have dr. salt"
Piemur1: "what, it actually exists?"
orders dr. salt
drinks it
immediatly, all water in piemur1's body run out of his pores and he shrivles up into a prune-like state
jimmy gets a large pail of water and pours it over piemur1
piemur1 gets rehydrated
Jimmy: "thats the only problem with it"
Piemur1: "whoa, what a rush! theres nothing wrong with it! gimme another! at least you dont get drunk on it! :)"
proceeds to do it over and over
Jimmy: "but the water is extra, not included in the free drinks, because you dont actually drink it"
piemur1, in the middle of his 14th dr. salt, looks at jimmy with a look of horror
Piemur1: "neha' 'eind, 'heck 'leathe"
continues shrivling
jimmy pours one more bucket of water
Jimmy: "that last one is on the house"
Piemur1: "thanks...i guess...now how much for that?"
Jimmy: "14,000 scintak... this will be the most i ever made in my entire life! "
Piemur1: "uhh...well...you never told me how much per bucket of water...wait... 1000 scintak per bucket of water?!? thats outrageous! why so much?"
Jimmy: "well, it needs to be at least 10% H2O for it to be effective...here, its a specialty item."
Piemur1: "no way! "
leaves the bar in disgust
jimmy, being too poor to hire bouncers, does nothing except hang his head in sorrow...------------------
"At ----- , bullcrap is our most important product"
-graffiti on the lavatory wall of a major consultancy (from The Wizardry Consulted )(This message has been edited by Piemur1 (edited 05-05-2001).)
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**piemur forgets about the audomen guards outside, who pick him up and start to beat him senseless.
when they're done they throw him back into the bar.
**Jimmy page stares at piemur and sticks his hand out for money expecting piemur to give him his pay...
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ramble on..
--Jimmy Page -
Piemur1 (senseless): "what hit me?"
Jimmy (sensibly): "audomon guards"
Piemur1 (regaining his senses): "oh, that, well, i guess i have to pay you somehow...hey wait a sec! didn't you say something like:Quote
Originally posted by Jimmy Page 1 (on page one, first post):
**Because commander Cicion's bar was so crowded he seemed to be charging too much for his drinks so i opened up my budget bar. (afterall we wouldn't want a monopoly on drinks unlike some computer company called microsoft...:rolleyes: ) So come on in! All drinks are 1 dollar for anything you want. We have a brand new kariokee machine (however you spell it)NO AUDOMEN ALLOWED (you'll kill us all!)
**Piemur1 (continuing): "so you are breaking two of your own rules! so...i think you are in trouble mister!"
a bunch of human guards from the bar-rule-breaking agency come in and close the bar
Piemur1 (calling out): "i'm sorry everyone, we've been onto this person for a long time now and i, as an undercover agent, have just had enough evidence to close this bar. 1) he doesnt have a bar-running license"
Jimmy: "yes i do!"
holds it out
Piemur1: "err...2) his bar is very unsanitary...it had 10 ft rats..."
Jimmy: "err...no...remember? you chased them out a couple days ago"
Piemur1: "oh...well...3) his drinks are very bad for one's health... hope he cant find anything for this one "
Jimmy: "well, you had a bunch of those dr. salts and you said and i quote:Quote
Originally posted by Piemur1:
Piemur1: "What a rush!"Piemur1: "oh...yeah...finally...4) he broke 2 of his own rules he made from his first day of opening the bar...first, all drinks are 1 dollar, but he charged me 1,000 scintak per bucket of water..."
Jimmy: "but i never specified which kind of dollar...and i have been quite generous to many people here...didnt i even sell the bar for a pretty rock? or something like that?"
Piemur1: "oh...yeah... ** but** he also said:Quote
Originally posted by Jimmy Page 1:
**NO AUDOMEN ALLOWED
**Piemur1: "which he quite clearly broke himself..."
Jimmy: "oh, weeeell, who remembers THAT?"
Piemur1: "i did!"
Jimmy: "oh..."------------------
"At ----- , bullcrap is our most important product"
-graffiti on the lavatory wall of a major consultancy (from The Wizardry Consulted )(This message has been edited by Piemur1 (edited 05-06-2001).)