(Has drawn a short straw, but surreptiously replaced it before anybody noticed, and kept well out of harm's way)
-
Suddenly, a whole bunk of satalites with "CCCP" painted on them get in front of the missles and fire lasers. The missles are all promptly shot down.
Darkk looks up from his powerbook. "Dang, they haven't changed the passwords on those since the USSR collapsed."
------------------
Formerly-Rampant Human-Coded AI -
'Ah, President. It appears your nuclear cascade was sadly disrupted. Allow me to offer my condolances. Now to business, how does giving me 1 trillion dollars sound?'
'Umm, ahh, no I do not believe that in good faith the United States could uhh, do that.'
'Listen, I'm threatening to laser through earth. You had better accede to my demands.'
'I am ahh, leaving temporarily.'
'Pallas give him some more of that anitmatter beam will you?'
-
-Just to give an idea of what we're talking about here, I'd like to give you a little demonstration. Pick up a cigar.
(Bush picks up a cigar. Pallas lights it from orbit)
-Now, we've seen what that can do on the outside of your body; how would you like to see the inside?------------------
"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land somewhere and say, 'Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel.'"
"I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor."
"Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mister Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork " -
pulls a short straw and chucks the grenade up into the air , and changes its shape into a spnkr
'need a light?' says tallgeese------------------
Warning : Anti - Matter Weapons Detecte........ -
"Uh-oh, Redmond's launching something."
"Looks like a competetionkeeper missle."Darkk taps something on his powerbook.
The missles do a 180 and slam into Redmond.
"Good, Bungie's offices didn't take the hit. Halo should come out on time."A round of cheers.
------------------
Formerly-Rampant Human-Coded AI -
Watches 100 Hydrogen Bomb Missiles heading at all of us
Im Gonna Hack all of their guidance systems
Watches As the Land in Orlando, Florida and Blows Up Walt Disney World
'Yay the Rat is Dead' says Tallgeese------------------
Warning : Anti - Matter Weapons Detecte........ -
Ahh, the destruction of America, just we what we all wanted eh? Now with the help of this station I can set Australia up to be where it should - the next world's superpower.
(Turning to Mr. Bush, who is sweating rather profusely.)
This will unfortunately involve destroying America.
(Antimatter slices across America, rupturing nuclear plants and warheads. Auxiliary warheads from the station rattle down there as well.)
Ha ha ha! Justice is served.
-
In the midst of the confusion, Florida breaks off. Enterprising military officers place engines on it and ram Cuba.
The eastern seaboard floats off into the Atlantic, and gets caught on the Transatlantic ridge. (Or is it called something else? I can't remember.)Oh well, even if America's gone, we've got Atlantis again!
------------------
"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land somewhere and say, 'Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel.'"
"I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor."
"Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mister Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork " -
im gonna um..... get something
leaves for a minute
comes back with a huge gateship
heh , watch this
** pulls out a device and becomes 60 feet tall again**
pulls out a huge gun (out of my side)
ok watch me rip apart earth
hooks the gun up to the gateships powercore and fires
watches as earth is erased out of time
ok , now we have blown up earth whats next?------------------
Warning : Anti - Matter Weapons Detecte........ -
(BTW Tallgeese3 is a huge battlemech so im not human at all
i can also transform into a huge pikachu (although i dont know why.....) )------------------
Warning : Anti - Matter Weapons Detecte........ -
(Pallas Antimatter Beams Tallgeese3's "hand," grabs the gun and shoots the Gateship. The Timeline, not wanting another dreadful paradox, decides that the simplest way out would be if the gun and the gateship had never existed, so they are erased. Earth pops back into existence)
------------------
"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land somewhere and say, 'Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel.'"
"I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor."
"Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mister Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork " -
Nice work Pallas.
(Turns to the video screen)
Ahh, gentlemn. It appears the USA has been completely annihilated, and I have already made myself Prime Minister of Australia. Other nations however, refuse to accept our rule despite this, and are firing nukes at Australia. For the next 24 hours, this station is on alert to intercept all nukes going towards Australia.
-
Uhh, sorry, but the timeline-shift canceled the USA being blown up. As I own property there, I'd like you to use more surgical methods next time. Speaking of "surgical", anybody want to help me capture W the moron with these commando suits? They look like ordinary pressure suits, but have power assisted movement, shields, and hover-rockets.
------------------
Formerly-Rampant Human-Coded AI -
all of a sudden the earth of today disappears , and a primative fireball appears , the it shifts back to normal
well genius , youve got us stuck in time , and u destroyed my only way to fix it
Pardon me , does anyone have a gateship i can borrow? , i can re-replicate the gun , but nothing the size of a gateship , sorry
everyone turns into spirogyra(a bacteria) , the goes back to normal
some had better hurry!------------------
Warning : Anti - Matter Weapons Detecte........ -
If I remember correctly, Darkk, you live somewhere at least near to the Eastern Seaboard, I made sure to save that part of America (I live there too ;)). If not, we'll just flood a bit of your state so where you live becomes part of the coast.
(Pallas sends collecter drones to take out the Nukes heading for Australia)
(64 nukes are collected and brought on board the Hovercraft)
(No more nukes fly ;))
(The new position of Atlantis disrupts the Gulf Stream. Greenland starts warming up, and Europe starts getting colder...)------------------
"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to land somewhere and say, 'Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel.'"
"I fail to see the humor in that situation, Doctor."
"Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mister Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork " -
(Glaciers devistate France. France tries to surrender to them.)
-
(I guess I'll have to settle for Bush then.)
(Turns to Mr. Bush)
'Ahh, Mr. Bush. I've tried reasoning with you, I've tried compromising with you, I've gone to extraordinary lengths but what do you do? Well be assured, I take no pleasure in this.'
(Bush explodes all over the whitehouse.)
'Better.'
-
(CA is knocked over by cheering shouts running through the US.)
(Darkk helps CA up.)
Yo, Chaney - surrender dis!
(Darkk shoves a plasma cannon into Chaney's face)
3... 2...------------------
Formerly-Rampant Human-Coded AI -
1...
(Chaney's head does, what could politely be described as a 'double back twisted 360' and disintegrates in a 10k radius.)
'Well done everyone.'
(CA mounts the microphone.)
'People, your President is dead!'
(Wild cheering)
'Your evil corporations slagged!'
(Tumultuous cheering.)
'Your homes nuked.'
(Considerably less cheering.)
'Your people enslaved.'
(Murmurings.)
'And I am now your supreme ruler via Australia!'
(CA is hit with a melon. Someone pulls out a shotgun and narrowly misses CA.)
'To the helicopter!'