Slowly returning from conciousness after being hit by a flying peice of Bar during Penguin's destruction of the origional Albatross, Ipvicus get's up and dusts himself off. Taking a quick look around he notices that the bar has apparenltly gone under major renovation since he was out...

Still a little bit disoriented, Ipvicus staggared over to the bar. "Barkeep! I got knocked out waiting for my last drink... I'de better get this one pretty fast."

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Out ride the sons of Terra, Far dirves the thundering jet,
Up leaps the race of Earthmen, Out, far, and onward yet - Robert A. Heinlein, The Green Hills of Earth
"Saddam Hussein foregoes weapons of mass destruction (and) values human life." George W. Bush

Everybody likes a busy night... or at least they're supposed to. "Here Sunrunner" D nearly growls. "Pick it up when you peel yourself off the floor. And by the way, you're three short." Soda, soda... "Pepsi or Coke, pal?" (Desperado readies his trusy blaze rifle while awaiting Zurg's answer...)

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"You're not a hard man to please, Azdgari. Here, have fun." Desperado offers up a fresh Saalian Brandy and, while the Admiral does whatever it is he chooses to do with his drink, clips his toenails. "Gots ta replenish my stock..."

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Tossing back his brandy, Ipvicus gives the bartender a curious look while he has his toenails clipped. "Curious currency you hewmaans have... I don't think I have ever seen a culture that finds toenails valuable."

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Out ride the sons of Terra, Far dirves the thundering jet,
Up leaps the race of Earthmen, Out, far, and onward yet - Robert A. Heinlein, The Green Hills of Earth
"Saddam Hussein foregoes weapons of mass destruction (and) values human life." George W. Bush

Desperado passes out from the stench of Azdgari foot before he can think of a humorous response. "Bar maid..." he manages to moan before realizing... he... ugh....

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

<laughs> complete overreaction to battle trance...(despite its name, it's just peaceful contemplative meditation...matrices was just there to show he was getting in touch with universe...ah well..his suspicions are aroused) no worries.

====

Shek wakes up and throws another three credits to Desperado. "When I count money, I know what I'm counting," he growls lightly. "Nevertheless, take it as you like it. Good drink, I might add," he finishes, smiling hugely.

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All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.
—J. R. R. Tolkien

Ipvicus watches with even more confusion as the human barkeep faints dead away while taking the toenail clipings. With a blank, non-comprehending look on his face Ipvicus turns to the brooding Shek Sunrunner. "I don't understand, on Veltes the pheremones from my feet attracted so many females I had to get five personal security guards... what's the deal with this barkeep? I usually get a hostile reaction from rival males, but this one just went to sleep?"

Waiting for a reply from Shek, Ipvicus grabs the bottle of Saalian Brandy from behind the bar and pours himslef another drink.

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Out ride the sons of Terra, Far dirves the thundering jet,
Up leaps the race of Earthmen, Out, far, and onward yet - Robert A. Heinlein, The Green Hills of Earth
"Saddam Hussein foregoes weapons of mass destruction (and) values human life." George W. Bush

Sensing the imminent danger to his bar, D snaps to and draws his rifle in time to see the Admiral's nice fat Azdgari @$$ leaning over HIS bar. Taking aim, though still intoxicated from certain odors, the barkeep manages to take a small chuk of Azdgari hide out. "That one's goin' on the top shelf."

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Quote

Originally posted by VoinianAmbassador:
**Nice to find another Angband fan on the boards. I'm actually playinf Zangband nowadays, which is much the same, except that it features monsters and characters from Roger Zelazny's books as well. (All of them a bit too hard.)

**

Blah, Zang, anyone knows that ToME is better.

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(url="http://"http://www.thangorodrim.net/")Angband(/url) in action! Constant escalation to new depths to find angrier,
meaner letters and more punctuation! -- Mattneu

Upon hearing the Azdgari's comment, the Dur'achi swordmaster barked a chorus of laughter. "If that is so, my friend, then I may want a bottled quantity of your foot-odor. However, I doubt I will ever need it unless I venture into Azdgari territory; the women of Durach have a certain love of my blade." He turned back to the bar and picked up his second drink as per Desperado's earlier comments.

"Let's pray that this one is as good as the first," Shek said with a wink towards Admiral Ipvicus, and downed the drink once more. Immediately he collapses in his chair with a blissful smile upon his face.

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All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.
—J. R. R. Tolkien

Rebel Manta suggests that they make something more then just the acid pit.

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The road goes ever on, Out from the door where it began. Now far the Road has gone, Let others follow it who can! Let them new a journey begin, But I atlast with weary feet Will return to the lighted inn With my evening-rest and sleep to meet.
=The Lord of the Rings=

"Give me a Coke," replied Zurg. Zurg glanced around the room carefully taking in everyone and everthing in the bar. Shek entered his trance again and Zurg felt his telepathic waves , but noticed this time that they were not as deep as he thought previously. Deciding to let the drugged Dur'achi wander Zurg tried to ignore his presence.

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Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

• Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

"Acid pits and the like are the penguin's department. Grrrr...."

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

After shattering Trugati in the swimming race she suggested, pp towels off and walks into the main section of the bar.
"Rebel Manta, there's more than just an acid pit, look around! We've got every type of sports field in the galaxy!"
pp notices Desperado doing bartending and asks himself when he hired D. Ah well, pp needs a good bartender for when he's away. D gets the job. This reminds pp of what he was supposed to be doing a few minutes ago. He wipes the EMN of the rules and makes it so it reads, "Help Wanted" in 47 thousand languages.
After getting a soda (Remember kids, they're free) from D pp than thinks about it and decides to add some more on to the bar as Rebel Manta suggested. This bar is insanely huge, yet we don't use up half the room. He adds an airport and a stage. He hires some random band to play and hums along to a catchy tune.
That's when pp noticed a drink of something unfamiliar just sitting there on a table. He sits down and sips it thoughtfully as he flips through a cooking brochure... "The heck with it, I'll just buy the thing," pp says to himself. An hour later pp has 100 billion bluk freighters landed in front of the bar. pp gets everything unloaded into the storage room... "We won't be having anymore toenail problems," he says with a grin on his face. After tipping every single worker there to get them to go away, pp suddenly collapses to the ground. "Shouldn't have drinken that... that..." pp mutters under his breath before fainting.

Edit: Before I forget, new rule:
4. No double-posting
*. No creating new rules unless I saw so or unless you're... me

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"I love deadlines, I love the 'whooshing' sound they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams.

(This message has been edited by phantompenguin (edited 01-11-2003).)

Trugati dunks pp in the acid pit to revive him, and pp jumps out, very alive. "What'd you do that for?" He yells.
"You were unconscious." Trugati explains and ducks as the penguin swipes at her with his wing-type things.
Then she asks pp to install a virtual reality chamber in the bar.

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The great space parrot is a biped

"Yeah, sure whatever" pp says and has one magically installed immidiately. He realizes that this was the first time he's been thrown into the pit in this bar..... And the first time anyones been thrown into the pit in this bar! A historic moment! Everybody dance! Achachachacha... pp sings before throwing himself back into the pit. "NUMBER TWO!"

Edit: If anyone's confused about what I just said read the Boozaramma.

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"I love deadlines, I love the 'whooshing' sound they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams.

(This message has been edited by phantompenguin (edited 01-12-2003).)

Desperado gave Zurg his Coke and Zurg placed a credit on the counter along with a hastily scribbled note. The note read: "I have sensed your dislike for a certain penguin in this bar if you wish him eliminated please ask me." Zurg glanced up at the Barkeeper as he read the note and waited for a reply.

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Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

• Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

(This message has been edited by Zurg (edited 01-12-2003).)

Desperado nods to Zurg, knowing full well that, even if all does NOT go as planned, his full armory is awaiting hum under the bar. "By the way, soda's are free, remember?" D grunts, returning more credits than Zurg put down....

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

But suddenly the real pp is blown up, because of a freak kamakize watermellon incident, never to return.
(But my clone is still here)
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"I love deadlines, I love the 'whooshing' sound they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams.

(This message has been edited by phantompenguin (edited 01-12-2003).)

(This message has been edited by phantompenguin (edited 01-17-2003).)

(This message has been edited by phantompenguin (edited 01-17-2003).)

Without an ounce of sympathy in his heart, D laughs. "Zurg's as good as his word, and without even lifting a finger." Smiling, he turns back to the room. "The smell of victory...."

-----------

in any case, it was nothing personal, penguin, zurg said something, i had fun responding. do what you wish, and take care whatever you choose.

edit: hey wait, the pp clone's still hanging around, right?

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

(This message has been edited by Desperado (edited 01-12-2003).)