{walks in and eats thE flesH OF of thE DEAD people.}
(Exits)
-
-
(Needle Ed materializes in the middle of the bar, therefore bypassing the anti ed device)
(Takes out pistol and fires three shots at Jive's head)
(Jive's head is pasty mush)
(Ed steals brandy recipe and escapes to Azdara)
(Takes out Ubermann's ship(whatever it's name is)with one shot)
"So long suckas!" -
Quote
Originally posted by Oedipus:
**uh Ed, you forgot that by leaving the bar you are going through the anti-ed device, so you are now known as Burnt Ed**
(Oedipus takes Needle Ed's head and connects it to Jive's)
(Jive walks around looking as ugly as ever ( ;)))
(Jive goes over to Pike and they switchg heads)
(Pike has the same face and brain as Jive so Jive is back to normal)
(Pike looks so ugly he kills himself)
(Jive takes small skin cell)
(Jive puts this in regeneration machine)
(Pike is alive and well)
(Ed is dead (once again))
"Die!!!"
(Ed places enhanced Ed Eye in bar)
(Whenever Ed is in bar, he is zapped by the eye)
"That should do it"
(Jive takes shot of Brandy)------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
I'm not as think
as you stupid I am."If it weren't for my horse
I wouldn't have spent that year in college"
-Lewis Black
------------------ -
All the violence has sobered Jack+2, who is now rechristened Jack
{Jack pulls out phased-matter pistol from boot}
{"You forgot about this one Jive"}
{Jack takes his weapons from the weapons locker}
{Jack now has phased-matter pistols, and Assault Rifle}
{Jack goes out in search of anyone looking like Ed}
{Shoots dead body of Pike}
{"Just to make sure, 'cause this guy never stays dead"}
{"Sets Assault Rifle to "Kill"}
{"It ain't original, but if they ask, I'll kill them"}------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon
I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class
-
(Jive looks at dead Pike with Ed's head)
"He's just so UGLY. It's really sad"
(Jive rips off Ed's head and vaporizes it with ionizer)
"Hey Oedipus, hunt down Jack. Don't kill him. I just don't think him and guns are very safe together"
(Jive takes shot of Brandy)------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
I'm not as think
as you stupid I am."If it weren't for my horse
I wouldn't have spent that year in college"
-Lewis Black
------------------ -
"whatever Jive, be glad to"
(Oedipus goes off to find Jack)
(3 days later Oedipus walks into bar holding Jack(who has his hands tied behind his back)in one hand, and and array of rifles and pistols on the other shoulder)
(throws Jack on floor, but keeps the weapons)
"i like the guns, i think ill keep some of them, you want some too?"------------------
Life is evil, live with it -
Quote
Originally posted by Oedipus:
**"whatever Jive, be glad to"
(Oedipus goes off to find Jack)
(3 days later Oedipus walks into bar holding Jack(who has his hands tied behind his back)in one hand, and and array of rifles and pistols on the other shoulder)
(throws Jack on floor, but keeps the weapons)
"i like the guns, i think ill keep some of them, you want some too?"**
"Thanks Oedipus. I'll take those plasma rifles. Anyway, I'm leaving you the bar for 10 days. I'm going on a trip. Just make sure Jack doesn't have guns, Needle Ed doesn't enter the bar, and that the bar isn't a piece of smoldering ashes. One more thing, keep the bar full of 'red paint'. I hate it when the walls are white :). Good luck! I may be checking in once or twice so don't get too out of hand :rolleyes:. Oh and don't drink out of the tap Oedipus. I know what you do when I'm not looking..."
(Jive takes shot of Brandy and leaves in UE Cruiser)
------------------
Feel the Jive
------------------
I'm not as think
as you stupid I am."If it weren't for my horse
I wouldn't have spent that year in college"
-Lewis Black
------------------ -
(Waits til' Jive leaves)
(Sneaks over to the tap)
(Drinks all the saliaan brandy)
"I'm baaaad :D)" -
Jack has no guns. As a result, Jack is drunk.
{"Gimme back my shtuff!!"}
{"Ish mine!!"}
{"Hit me again Jibe"}
{"Jibe, Jibe, ish not you, ish...Oedipushy?"}
{"Hit me again Oedipushy"}
{"I shaw that. Jibe sez no drinking from tap"}
{"Can I have my gunsh back?...pleash?"}
{Oedipus takes plasma shotgun and admires it}
{"I didn't know you had one of these"}
{Jack grabs the plasma shotgun, and starts running for the door}
{Jack is drunk, and trips over his own feet}
{"oopsh"}By the way Oedipus, your IP number matches Oedipus Wannabe's IP number. Strange.
------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon
I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class
-
Quote
Originally posted by Jack:
**By the way Oedipus, your IP number matches Oedipus Wannabe's IP number. Strange.
**uhhh, no it doesn't. but anyway.....
(Oedipus walks over to Wannabe)
"so, ya wannabe me eh? well too bad 'cause there will only be one of me!"
"ya know what that means? it means that you cant be around"
(Oedipus takes out cougar magnum)
(proceeds to pistol whip Wannabe)
(more "red paint")------------------
Life is evil, live with it -
(Oedipus walks over to Jack)
(rips shotgun from his hand)
"i hate it when people try to disobey me or Jive"
(Kicks Jack in the stomach repeatedly)
(pulls him up)
(Oedipus points the shotgun at Jacks face)
"guess what Jack? your our new paint source"
(fires off five rounds at Jack, who now is known as Charred Jack)------------------
Life is evil, live with it -
My mistake. Jive's IP number matches Oedipus Wannabe's IP number.
{Jack gets up}
{"ow"}
{"Good thing I'm a human+"}
{Jack goes next door, and buys 6 phased-matter pistols, 2 Plasma Shotguns, an Assault rifle, and assorted small incendiary devices}
{Jack also buys a Zidigar Arada}
{Thinking of mythical flying craft, Jack names it the UES Incontrovertible}
{"I like weapons with the word phased in them"}
{Jack flys off, sees NeedleEd, and phase-beams him to smithereens}
{"Before you start Ed"}
{Jack heads of to Saalia, buys 25 tons of Saalian Brandy}
{"Not enough"}
{Jack "escorts" a Miranu Heavy Freighter, to Saalia, and fills it up with Brandy}
{"Maybe this will be enough"}What nefarious scheme is Jack thinking up?
Why is Jive posing as Oedipus, and drinking his own brandy?
Where, is NeedleEd, and what revenge is he not thinking of?
Next time, at the FREEPORT BAR!!!!@#!$!@#$!!!
------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon
I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class
You don't blow it up, you just, how shall I put it,
"Let the smoke out"-Jack -
Quote
Originally posted by Jack:
**My mistake. Jive's IP number matches Oedipus Wannabe's IP number.
**Actually, I wrote that...a bad attempt at humor.(check the IP again)
-
(Flying through space laughing at how Jack destroyed his good twin)
(Goes to Freeport)
(Buys thirty million space mines)
(Intercepts Jack and hijacks the MHF full of brandy)
(Steals the brandy and then destroys both ships with three space mines)
(Laughs as he drinks brandy and destroys escape pod with a single blast of his phase cannons)
(Heads toward the bar)What plan does Ed have now?
Can Jack really be dead?
Can I think of many more questions?
To find out, tune in next time to
The Freeport Bar!!!
-
It seems that NeedleEd is Jack of All trades, Jive is Oedipus Wannabe, Jack it The other Jack, and Ed is dead.
-
{Jack is not dead, and blames this on the fact that he is a human+}
{If you look closely, you can see a small + Jack's head}
{Jack runs down NeedleEd, stomach pumps the brandy out of NeedleEd, and then stomach pumps the stomach out of NeedleEd}
{Jack then shoots, cuts into tender strips, and barbeques Ed}
{"Fricasee anyone"}
{Jack goes to Freeport, and gives the contaminated brandy to Oedipus}
{Jack then goes to Saalia and steals some more}Once again, what nefarious scheme is Jack thinking of?
Why won't Ed stay dead?
Where is Jive now?
Please answer the first question, I'm out of plot ideas.
------------------
"Not an Electric Sausage"- Marvin"Happiness is a warm gun"-John Lennon
I am a proud member of Dogbert's New Ruling Class
You don't blow it up, you just, how shall I put it,
"Let the smoke out"-Jack -
(Oedipus looks at messed up brandy)
(notices several strange creatures swarming around in it)
"anyone want some free Brandy?"
(all raise their hands)
"here ya go, hehehe"
(brandy is chugged down)
(suddenly the patrons stomachs starts bulging)
(odd creatures with really big teeth burst out of there stomachs)
(Oedipus pulls out various assorted weapons)
(all clips are emptied
(this time, not only "red paint" but "green paint" too)------------------
Life is evil, live with it -
(Breck walks into the bar)
(Breck observes the green paint on the walls)
"Finally decided to do some redecorating, eh?"
(Breck wisely orders whiskey instead of brandy)------------------