:sniff: How touching...
And now for the criticism! 
Starters, did the Romans even use bows in battle? Cause I can't seem to remember this. Also, 40 pages of HTML be damned, I would've done three times as much on Zeltar's downfall even if it meant I would have to cut out, say, well, something important. That's what I would snip. 
It's very well done, and I can't wait for the Aftermath.
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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Muad'Dib
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Originally posted by Celchu:
:sniff: How touching...
I'll pass that on to Zeltar. He's sure to appreciate it. 
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**
And now for the criticism!:p
Starters, did the Romans even use bows in battle? Cause I can't seem to remember this. Also, 40 pages of HTML be damned, I would've done three times as much on Zeltar's downfall even if it meant I would have to cut out, say, well, something important. That's what I would snip.
It's very well done, and I can't wait for the Aftermath.
**
Something important.... ok. I'll cut out the first two sections and spend three pages killing Zeltar. Happy?
Oh, and I hope you're not too dissappointed with Aftermath. I left it very, very open....
-Andiyar
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"Any good that I may do here, let me do now, for I may not pass this way again"
Hmm.. open. Openness is good.
Also, you don't need to tell Zeltar. I have his action figure sitting on my monitor, right next to the plush Rothlin. I had to put Caesar on the dresser after he impaled Rothlin with a protractor for the second time.
Have you thought about re-visiting the Fall of the Nervii, and maybe touching it up a bit? I did that for Body and Soul. I spent about an hour on it, and it's seen a world of improvement. Size increased by 33%, and I think I've pumped up the suspense-o-meter before the shape-shifter a great deal. You should try it next time you're free.
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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Muad'Dib
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Originally posted by Celchu:
**Have you thought about re-visiting the Fall of the Nervii, and maybe touching it up a bit? I did that for Body and Soul. I spent about an hour on it, and it's seen a world of improvement. Size increased by 33%, and I think I've pumped up the suspense-o-meter before the shape-shifter a great deal. You should try it next time you're free.
**
Yes I have, actually. And every time I have felt the urge to do so, I have resisted it. The Fall of the Nervii, was, for me, an experiment, and excercise of my writing ability and one half of a composite multimedia/story project. There is much I would like to do to the Fall of the Nervii, so much I would change, more I would add. I could easily double the size of the story.... but at the moment, I won't.
The Fall of the Nervii is to me a great milestone of my writing. It marks a point in my life that I think won't return. Since then, my writing style has evolved, changed. If I rewrote the story, I am afraid that in some ways, I might break it, or make it less than it is. Thus, at present, TFOTN is a closed book.
However, the world I modified/created in writing that story has always been a favourite one of mine, and I cannot guarantee that I won't revisit the tale of Caesar, Zeltar, Rothlin and Talia, and breathe new life into it. Ideally, I do intend to extend the story both before and after the actual events in the current story take place, to show what came before and what happens after..... If I do decide to do that, then I will rewrite the Fall of the Nervii.
But until then, regretfully, no.
-Andiyar
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"Any good that I may do here, let me do now, for I may not pass this way again"
Ah yes, the 'old and un-visited' work reply. I'll respect that. It, however does not apply to Body and Soul, seeing as how that is still very much work in progress.. I also will be submitting in maybe one day a small treatise on shapeshifters, complete with small teasers for Epitheisterra.. (nothing confidential, mind you)
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"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Muad'Dib
(This message has been edited by Celchu (edited 01-28-2002).)
