If you like a story where you have to keep reading to find out the answers, then you could try my story Seeds of Rebellion. (Not trying to brag or take the spotlight from you, Rawzer. Just want Guapo to read it.) I'm just about done with the first chapter, and it's looking pretty good. (To me at least)

The Intro's a little rough, and I'm probably going to redo it when I'm done with most of it. In fact, most of its crude because I wrote it a long time ago. Anyway, (url="http://"http://www.AmbrosiaSW.com/cgi-bin/ubb/newsdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=20&forum;=*EV/EVO+chronicles&DaysPrune;=50&article;=000217&startpoint;=20")here's the intro.(/url)

You don't have to read the first part of Chapter 1 if you don't want to. (Even though you might not read the Intro )

Enjoy.

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Ie amh thuh ilitterit rietur.

Quote

Originally posted by Spaceiscold:
**(Not trying to brag or take the spotlight from you, Rawzer. Just want Guapo to read it.)

Anyway, here's the intro.

**

My, we're subtle today, spacey... I've read it. Nice. Commented, too. Now, back to Rawzer...

Cheers,
Guapo
(yes, kiss up to me and I'll read your stuff, too.... :p)

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"Quote it, paraphrase it, soak it in peanut oil and set it on fire. I don't mind in the least." - forge
Founding Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH
(url="http://"http://guapohq.jonpearse.net")GuapoHQ - for all your Guapo needs(/url)
(url="http://"http://insanekp.tripod.com")The Insane Klown Posse Website!!!(/url)

(quote)Originally posted by ElGuapo7:
**(yes, kiss up to me and I'll read your stuff, too....:p

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Man have pity on man
**

(quote)Originally posted by Jas86:
**He sucks up, because you're higher up on the chain of web board heirarchy.:p

Guapo

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"Quote it, paraphrase it, soak it in peanut oil and set it on fire. I don't mind in the least." - forge
Founding Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH
(url="http://"http://guapohq.jonpearse.net")GuapoHQ - for all your Guapo needs(/url)
(url="http://"http://insanekp.tripod.com")The Insane Klown Posse Website!!!(/url)
**

Quote

Originally posted by ElGuapo7:
**good looks
**

Hahahahahaha...

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I had a (url="http://"http://forums.evula.com/viewforum.php?f=6")dream(/url) that I had about a (url="http://"http://evula.com")dozen(/url) (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=56&SUBMIT;=Go")links(/url) here. (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=6&SUBMIT;=Go")Mostly(/url) to other (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=20&SUBMIT;=Go")places(/url) on this (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=1")site(/url). (url="http://"http://www.ambrosiasw.com/cgi-bin/ubb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number;=10&SUBMIT;=Go")Weird(/url).

Quote

Originally posted by Rawzer:
**
Hahahahahaha...

**

Oh, and how could I forget to mention my renowned tolerance?

Guapo

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"Quote it, paraphrase it, soak it in peanut oil and set it on fire. I don't mind in the least." - forge
Founding Member of WORRPBOITAMPSH
(url="http://"http://guapohq.jonpearse.net")GuapoHQ - for all your Guapo needs(/url)
(url="http://"http://insanekp.tripod.com")The Insane Klown Posse Website!!!(/url)

Lol!

Quote

Originally posted by ElGuapo7:
**bottomless wit
**

I wouldn't say bottomless... how else could anyone kiss up?

Anyway, about the story, all I have to say, Rawzer, is: AAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!

Such vagueness drives me nuts! It's like those open-ended stories: it's not that the author wants the reader to make up their own ending, it's just that the author is too lazy to make up one! AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!

Whew, now that that's out of my system, this story is great for people who have, without fuel scoops or solar panels, wandered into certain systems on empty. On the plus side, at least Doug didn't become delirious in the end...

Your writing in this story is a bit on the bland side, but it works (there's nothing to get all riled up about, like fusion bolts and quad turrets), since Doug's only a noob pilot in a shuttlecraft. Time to start a new pilot, methinks.

As Nick Anderson commented previously, the bugs communicating their intent to kill before doing so seems a bit cliche. Logically, the bugs would simply just attack, and not understand the human language. Then again, bugs don't have to act logically, do they?

Now, hurry up with the next installment, Rawzer! I'm sloooowly going insane!

(This message has been edited by Astyanax (edited 09-09-2003).)